Friday, November 02, 2007

This is what my husband does!

At least according to The Onion... It's sort-of how I think of things in a very general way, too. I like to call the device he works on, which is named Pegasus and is a spherical torus device, the Science Machine. I *know* it's not, and even know some of the reasons that it is technically incorrect to say that it "makes science." It just seems so much more approachable when you put it that way, you know?

Mike wrote a more succinct note about it in his blog. I'm just glad it's important enough to write about in The Onion.

In other good news, the doctor said I can take muscle relaxants to help me survive the difficult transition to being able to do Yoga without giving myself terrible migraines. The idea is that, in the long term, Yoga is really, really good for me, even if in the short term it puts me in bed for two days with a migraine that makes me sicker than I've ever been. It still seems sort of against the whole idea of yoga, to have to take muscle relaxants...


Thursday, November 01, 2007

These are pictures of our pumpkins this year. Mike's is a happy pumpkin. Mine is a hedgehog!

This is the farm where we picked our pumpkins. It was in the middle of just about nowhere to the West of Middleton. It was such a perfect day for pumpkin picking!

The leaves in Madison are beautiful colors, and the sky has been clear and blue, so walks have been highly enjoyable.

This is my mom on some of the stones crossing a small stream near our house in one of the preserves. She had already fallen into one at this point. Don't tell her I told you that.

My Life's Purpose

So, I realized the other day that I know exactly why I'm here and what I'm supposed to be doing. It doesn't seem to be that big of a deal, really, but I guess a lot of people struggle with it for a lot of their lives. I feel moved to share what I've figured out.

I don't think I'm here to *do* anything specific, like take a bullet for an innocent bystander in the year 2030 or something dramatic like that. I am here on a journey. My journey will be full of lessons taught by the circumstances and people in my life. Some lessons are simple, like treat everyone like a sister (that's the latest from my two hedgehogs) to see beyond anger to the suffering that causes it (from my own painful experiences). My lessons seem to be pointing me towards learning how to be a more compassionate, giving, balanced, understanding and patient person, but I don't know that there is an ultimate goal. It's a process. I try to look for the teachers that come into my life, no matter what size or shape they may take.

My purpose here is to help. That is what is clear. That might mean helping people who are suffering or helping them find justice or helping animals, I'm not sure. It may mean helping the people in my life find happiness. I am sure that I don't need to know more than the next step at any given time, and all I have to do to find the next step is to follow what is life-giving to me. Right now that means hedgehogs, long walks, music, light exercise that doesn't give me migraines, and good, healthy food. It also means looking for jobs that will not only pay money but also make me feel like I am following the right path, the path of helping. It's about doing the right things along the way, not about having a final destination planned.

There are definitely times I feel lost. That's normal. But when the fog lifts, there I am on my path. Maybe I'm a few feet off the trail, but I can find it again. And when I'm on it, I can tell. Things are just good. My migraines are a good indication of when I'm drifting off the path. They're really bad when I'm feeling lost, or going in the wrong direction. They are a sign that is very hard to ignore, for better or worse!

So there you have it. My life's purpose as I see it. Notice I didn't mention God. I don't like talking about God's role in my life. I haven't figured that out yet. I sort-of figure that by the time I figure that out, I will either be meeting or not meeting Him/Her, and won't have to puzzle it out for myself anymore. I follow what is life-giving, and believe what I feel. I know there is something more than myself, but there's so much baggage when we use the word God... Oh, my endless struggle with Christianity. I swear.