My View:I've decided the world is a dark and evil place full of people who care nothing of others and who wouldn't stop at anything to get more for themselves. I have decided this is never going to change. Politicians are bought and sold by parties and interest groups, through lobyists and wealthy corporations, sometimes even individuals. People don't care what is going on in the world. They demand CNN tell them about the run-away bride, not about the genocide or the reality of Iraq (betcha don't know it!) or heck, Eastern Europe? South America? Ever heard of those places? Well, not that it matters, since the people who own the media also own big companies who build in these places, tap the natural resources, pay the workers nothing (which is more than they had, but really, you want to feel patriotic about paying people 2 cents per hour so your shoes only cost 10 bucks from Walmart?)
I digress. It's never going to change. The world isn't set up to be a good place. That's not the point. We're not supposed to save it or fix it because we can't. The corruption and the lies and the politics and the greed have lived beyond our written history, and are the fault of people long since burred and forgotten as dust, probably the really hard dust to clean off of ceiling fan blades or computer fans.
There are only a few of us who are going to see the world for what it is. Some people might think it's a little less dark than I do, because I'm in a particularly bad mood right now. There are a lot of people who won't ever look beyond the life that they lead every day to see what's going on, so they won't even notice. But people who get it will just get it. We'll know the point isn't to fix it, it's to survive. The point is just to make it out, and even in the end we'll still die trying.
See, we have this fable we like to tell where everyone is promised a good life, meeting the person of their dreams, having that house on the corner and passing away with money to spare. Forget it. No one promised us that it would be easy. No one promised women a perfect man. There isn't one. There's no perfect woman either. People die poor. People die without children. People's children die. People die never having owned a house. THAT is life, not the fable some of us grew up believing.
And this makes me cynical, right? This means I'm hopeless and means I hate everything? Not really. Not at all, actually.
Because I know there's more than this. I feel it deep down and that's how I know it's true. It's the way you hear someone tell you news that you knew about already. That's the way I know. I know that nothing here is forever. I know there's a reason and there's a plan. Oh no, not God's plan for me, well, not really. Not how a lot of people mean. God would be a pretty big bastard to have made me go through this shit, even worse for what he makes other people go through, don't you think? Who'd need a devil then! Who'd need hell! I really don't believe that anyone's imagination of hell could be worse than the lives of some of our brothers and sisters here on earth.
And so, who's plan? What more? Well, I can't tell you because you're going to laugh. I'm just going to say that I believe it and you should search and search until you find something that you believe with all your heart that answers all your questions, that makes sense deep, deep down, and that makes every day of this sometimes truly AWFUL life tolerable and that changes the way you see everything, really changes things.
I will tell you, though, that I believe in finding other good people, gaining strength from one another, and in trying to make life easier for those around me, even if it's just holding open a door for someone with his arms full. I might try to tackle some bigger problems because I have the means and the will, but you know, even a little bit can mean a lot sometimes. I believe there are other good people out there, because I know so many of them. I'm even related to a few. I believe that there are some good things, too, but that it is OK to hate people if they really suck or be angry and separate yourself from anyone in your life who is hurtful or negative.
All the good things in the world are still there, I just don't talk about them as much since they surrounded me for the first 22 years of my life or so. It's just that I was blind to all the evil, the true evil, that I have a lot of catching up to do.
And the Jesus guy said a lot of good things that just happened to be totally perverted by 2000 years of political bile. How have the words of the man who hated dogma become dogma? Don't get me started on that one.
Speaking of dogma: I'm not into some new religion. The word religion to me feels too close to dogma, and I hate dogma. I believe in finding my own truth. I have found some good stuff that's gonna make my life way easier. Go and look for your truth, wherever it may be. As long as it doesn't get in my way.
~Kristen