Pretty New Template and Threats:

Look! It's clean and new and it's a template that I didn't make. :) Yay for other people's hard work! Yay for blogger who hands out other people's work to me!

I have discovered there are many downsides to having a blog. First, people know about it. Yes, this can be a good thing when you only have to post things once rather than write e-mail after e-mail after e-mail saying "here's what I've been up to." The downside is that once some people know about a blog, you can never really tell how many people know about a blog.

Big deal, right? If I wanted to keep a secret, I shouldn't post it on the "internets." Right, fine, ok. No secrets on the blog. No problem.

The problems arise when I want to use this space to make vague threats to people who probably don't know this space exists, don't know that I exist, or wouldn't care either way. What's the big deal with that, you ask? The big deal is that not everyone who does read this blog or who might know who I am would know either that I'm making the threat in jest, making it towards someone who doesn't know I exist, or making it towards someone who doesn't know this space exists but who really would deserve any threats I made and you'll have to trust me on that.

The last one is the most problematic. Without going into any great detail, using any names or making myself vulnerable, how do I make random readers understand that I'm not a hateful person just because I hate one person?

Well, ok, I don't hate anyone. It just so happens that one person who doesn't know this space exists (or maybe that I exist anymore) was the narcissist, caused the memories that flooded back with the PTSD, and whom I would love to tell that if our paths ever crossed again, his testicles would become intimate and permanent friends with his adam's apple. Unfortunately, I don't know how to say that without sounding vengeful, hateful or violent.

I guess I just can't. Oh well.

Enjoy the new page! :)
~Kristen

Health Law Externship

Ooo, guess what? I'm going to be doing a Health Law Externship. It's a three credit program I'll be involved with in the fall. I'm going to be working with Wisconsin Citizen Action, working with one of the attorneys there on policy issues. It appears they're working on a plan that will counter the current administration's plan. They seem pretty anti-Bush's plan, even though they're not a partisan group. It sounds pretty cool. :)

I'm doing my first Oral Argument tonight regarding the brief I had to write for my legal writing class. I haven't written down what I'm going to say exactly yet, but I'm not really worried. I feel like I've lived with the case so long that I know the issues and cases pretty well by now. I'm trying to write a condescending emotional argument to start or end my portion with, something about how the husband in this motion to modify child support has an overwhelming sense of entitlement to the earnings of his ex-wife, my client, despite that she is already paying half the mortgage on the house where he lives, all his and the children's health care, for the care of the children while they are in her physical care for half the time IN ADDITION TO $3,000 per month in child support.

Without being totally condescending and mean. :)

Ok, time to pay attention to property!
~Kristen

PTSD

Well, it's a real thing, I guess. Sure can sneak up on a person.

If you've wondered, "Hey, what's up with Kzo? She hasn't returned my calls," or "Hm, I wonder if she's mad at me," or "Do you think she's losing her mind?" None of them are true. It's just a little PTSD shaking things up and keeping things... real?

Have a great day! :D

~Kristen

Sometimes just making it day by day is the most I can manage.

Mostly, it's still enough.

The Narcissist

Your parents and teachers warn you about a lot of different people when you're a kid. Don't talk to strangers. Never let anyone hit you. Don't put up with someone who puts you down. We all know these things and watch out for them. What we don't know is that there are more monsters lurking just below our radar.

For example, the narcissist.

No one ever warned me about the narcissist. Sure, we heard the story about the man who was so vain that he leaned over in the grass to look at himself and became some sort of Greek plant, but that was just a myth, right? Well, it turns out that there is a personality disorder named after him, too.

The scary part about the narcissist is that though they are dangerous, they're charming person you know. Everyone likes them. They're friendly. They're funny. They're usually pretty smart, and perhaps even popular.

But that's the thing about the narcissist. It's all about appearance, and it's all about them.

They will take without ever thinking twice. They will carefully construct their image at the expense of those closest to them. They will manipulate and pressure and use these same people to get what they want without any remorse. If something makes them feel bad, they'll stop, but if something makes you feel bad, who cares.

Narcissists don't have to be vain. They can simply be self-righteous. They can know that by being humble on the outside that makes them better than everyone else. They have a prevailing sense of entitlement, and when they don't get what they know they deserve, they literally believe that the universe is out to get them, that it's someone else's fault.

Have you ever seen the Alien movie where the Alien is slowly sucked, inside out, into space? That's the feeling you will get after dating your Narcissist. Nothing is ever good enough. You'll do everything you possibly can to make them happy, and they will happily take whatever you give, but nothing will be enough to make them give anything in return. (unless it somehow gets them what they want, or helps their appearance, of course). They will always blame any relationship problems on you, because that is what they do. They fundamentally lack empathy and desire admiration, so you can see how any relationship with them would be a very damaging one-way street.

So look out. There are more out there than you'd think.

Tell your friends.

And never, ever think it's your fault.

(p.s. i took some liberties with the definition. if you want precision, look here)

SUN

I've decided that this will be my summer of sun. I will be spending the majority of my summer working on a big project, namely starting a Wisconsin version of Volunteer Lawyers for the Arts. It's going to require a lot of research, organization, and orchestration or resources, much of which needn't be done in any one location. Thus, I should be able to work wherever I can access the information I will need, which will primarily be online, on my computer or in books.

Thus, my "office" will be one of three places: On my deck in the sun, at the Union terrace in the sun, or outside at a coffee shop in the sun.

Unless it rains. Then I will be inside.

By the end of the summer I will post a picture of my tan, tan skin. I'm already months ahead of my arian friends. Silly germans.