Kristen's Blog

2011-11-16T15:54:00.001-06:00

I like Pinterest. Check me out there.

-Kristen

Nirvana

2011-04-13T14:11:00.000-05:00

My cat's name is Nirvana. He is a boy, though the name is, at best, gender neutral. Though he belongs to both me and my husband, he really is my cat. We spend the most time together. He answers to me when I call. He learned cool tricks from me. He is at least mostly my cat.

He likes spending time laying on the back of the couch, almost as if he were sitting on my shoulder. When I lean my head back, I can rest it on his body and feel him breathe as he sleeps. When I reach my hand up to stroke his face, his paws flex and kneed in the air while he purrs for just a moment before dropping back into whatever dream he might be dreaming.

On days like today, I can't express how much it means to have him here with me. I can't be alone while I have my cat. I'm so glad Nirvana found me.

Poetry Day

2011-04-11T13:19:00.002-05:00

We Were Never Meant to Survive
by Audre Lourde

For those of us who live at the shoreline
standing upon the constant edges of decision
crucial and alone.

For those of us who were
imprinted with fear like a faint
line in the center of our
foreheads learning to be afraid
with our mother's milk.

For by this weapon,
this illusion of some safety to
be found-
the heavy-footed hoped to silence us.

For all of us
this instant and this triumph-
we were never meant to survive.

And when the sun rises we are
afraid
it might not remain.

When the sun set sets we are afraid
our words will not be heard
nor welcomed.

But when we are silent
we are still afraid.

So it is better to
speak remembering
We were never
meant to survive.

It's June

2010-06-14T16:44:00.000-05:00

It's June. About time for me to consider a career change.

I've had my own law firm for just under a year. It has been a very interesting time. I really enjoy making my own hours, taking my own vacation, and not dealing with very, very nasty office politics (and bad bosses). However, I am not enamored of paperwork, finances, and filing. In short, I like being my own lawyer, but not my own secretary. Unfortunately, I have not be profitable enough in my short time out of the box to afford to purchase a secretary, and so I must complete secretarial tasks for the time being.

I am currently experiencing a slow period in my practice. Slow, meaning I have nothing on my court calendar for a week and a half. This has happened before, but generally only when I go on vacation and keep my calendar clear. What I *should* do is use the time to catch up on closing cases. It is my least favorite task to complete as a lawyer. It is dry, time-consuming, and I can't bill for it. What I find myself doing, instead, is contemplating a change in careers.

As a contract attorney for the public defender's office, I am paid about $40 per billed hour. That means for each case I bill between $100 and $600, though sometimes more and sometimes less. I am not working near full-time. I a few private clients because I am new in the area and have not developed a reputation. I am also a young woman, and that works against me. When people think of a good criminal defense attorney, they think of a grizzled man in his prime. They think of Jack Hogue. It will probably take years to build up a private client base.

As a result, I'm bored. I want more work.

Of course, there aren't jobs. There just aren't. The most numerous job postings on the UW Law School list are "Volunteer Opportunities," which is a joke. There are some jobs for litigation attorneys in Milwaukee, which is too far to drive and for which I'm not quite qualified. There are also some postings for experienced patent attorneys and experienced trust and estate attorneys. Three years ago there were more positions for attorneys with three years of experience. Now that I have three years, those positions seem to have dried up. Economy be damned.

I'm wondering if it is possible to carve out a career in law. Am I going about it the right way? What kind of life am I making for myself? Do I care enough to invest years in solo practice just to start to make a reasonable salary?

The answer to the last question is probably not. I made a crucial mistake. I went to law school looking for answers. I thought law school would open up a world of possibilities for me. It really hasn't. It did saddle me with a debt that, if I continue to pay on schedule, I will pay off when my unborn children complete college.

Law school is not a recipe for success, any more than a good cup of coffee (although coffee *is* magic). It will not guarantee a good job. It will not even guarantee a job. It does not bring prestige, membership into secret clubs (except the kinds that cost money and don't do anything for you). A law degree is not the same as happiness.

Fortunately, I'm not the only one who thinks so, and the magic of the internet helps me see that.

So, it's June, and I'm thinking of changing careers to something that makes me feel more employable.

~Kristen

Sunday Morning Haiku

2010-04-09T20:32:00.001-05:00

Sunny office chair
Rays of sunlight warming my
Cool wintery skin

District 9

2010-03-20T21:17:00.000-05:00

District 9 just arrived from Netflix. I'm kinda excited. I don't suppose it will be nearly as good as I think it will be. Movies that look good rarely are. Then again, I think it was up for some sort of award, an Academy perhaps? I don't think it won. Hard to say.

I have generally poor taste in movies. I also like bad movies. I particularly like bad sci-fi movies. This could be either a bad sci-fi movie, in which case I'll like it, or a good movie. I also like good movies. I just can't find them as easily.

Thus, I will go watch District 9. Possibly with a hedgehog tucked under one arm. Then at least the time isn't a total loss.

Sleep Insanity

2008-12-21T23:13:00.002-06:00

I've been slowly going insane about my mattress. It isn't flat. It curves down towards the center. I KNOW it does. But how can it, it's less than five years old. Is it all in my head? Is it the way I sleep on it? Or perhaps how Mike sleeps on it? Or a combination? Is it the bed frame or the box spring or something like that? Somehow it can't just be the mattress, because mattresses don't just die after less than five years. Especially when I notice it and Mike doesn't.

But really. It is all saggy.

It's getting worse, though. I convinced Mike to try flipping the mattress, even though the pillow top would be down. That was a disaster. We tried removing the box spring. Also not quite right, but at least the sag is less noticeable.

I just need a new mattress, I finally decided. Today in my research, I looked to see what kind of mattress we have. A Spring Air something-or-other. I looked up different kinds of mattresses, especially the latex kind, which I find especially appealing for their longevity. I don't want any more saggy problems for a while, you see. In the midst of my research I came across a compilation of owner reviews of mattresses. Curious, I looked up owner reviews of Spring Air mattresses.

Spring Air has the lowest owner reviews of any inner spring mattress. Due, in large part, to premature sagging.

At least I know I'm not crazy.

~KZB

Employed At Last!

2008-09-11T10:09:00.003-05:00

On Monday, September 15, 2008, I will begin my job as an Assistant State Public Defender in Walworth County. After just about one year of being without a full-time paying legal work, I will begin my first job as an attorney proper.

And a criminal defense attorney no less. :) Hells yes.

I'm psyched. The only bad part is that I'll be commuting an hour and fifteen minutes each way every day. Quite a drive. I think, however, that the job will prove more than worthwhile. It is a small office, which will allow me a lot of experience working different kinds of cases. I will also have a very interesting boss who will offer me direct training in everything I need to know. The work environment is supportive, which is important in a stressful job!

You can be sure that I will be writing more about this job as it goes. Nothing that violates the rights of my clients for privacy, but interesting things no less, I'm sure!

Yay! I'm going to be a real lawyer!
~Kristen

Oh, Favre...

2008-08-06T14:03:00.003-05:00

This whole Favre thing just breaks my heart. It's like a romance gone bad. I found this comment on an ESPN.com website and thought it was a good summary:

"we can all relate to how farve feels. it's like if you brake up with your girlfriend, realize you made a mistake, and try to reconcile a couple of weeks later, ony to find out she's moved on with some guy you know. then she tells you she doesnt want you dating any of her hot friends, like the one in minnesota. but you are more than welcome to date the ugly friend in new york, or the "almost" cute one in tampa bay. by they way the one in tampa is a bit of a tramp who has five boyfriends already."

Oh, yeah, watch out for that hot Minnesotan friend! I love it. :)

I felt bad, but you know, it's time to move on. Cauterize the wound and move on.

~Kristen

Fishing in Florida

2008-07-15T15:02:00.008-05:00

I'm currently on Captiva Island in Florida. It's very rainy today, but yesterday was the perfect day to go fishing with Jimmy's fishing charter through the Santiva Salt Water Fishing Team. My dad, brother Chad, his fiancee Amanda and I went with Captain Jimmy Burnsed on a four hour fishing charter in the Pine Island Sound. Very cool.

Dad and Chad had gone fishing with Captain Jimmy for years. I was never interested. In the last few years, however, I've been fishing with my husband and his family up at Big McKenzy lake. The prospect of going salt water fishing was interesting, and I thought it might be a good opportunity to see some neat wildlife besides. Amanda had never been down here to Captiva, and had never, ever been fishing before. She came along because I did, and it seemed like the thing to do.

First thing we did when we got out to our first spot was to throw a bunch of minnows out into the water. It didn't take long for a bunch of black-tip sharks to show up. Holy cow, sharks! They weren't real big, only two or so feet, but that was a little scary! Nothing as scary as when I started HOOKING the sharks! I was reeling it in, and I could SEE the shark on my line! I started screaming right away, because there was NO WAY I was pulling it into the boat without someone there to catch it, because I don't care if it's only a little black tip shark, it is a SHARK with TEETH.

Well, I waited too long for help pulling it up into the boat, and it snapped the line and took off. Three hooks later, and sharks were dancing out of the water and Amanda and I were being called the shark-catchers. To be fair, Amanda hooked the first shark, but I don't know the story of what she was thinking quite as well!

After 5 lost hooks, Jimmy put some heavier line on the end of my pole and I actually managed to pull in a black tip. It was probably the smallest of the bunch (which is why it didn't take my hook, I'm thinking). Scary as heck! He asked if I wanted to hold it, and I said HELL NO! But I still got a good picture with it!

It's a shark! It could take your finger off without a thought! And I caught it!

Amanda also caught a shark before we decided we wanted to go somewhere with fewer sharks and more eating fish. We headed over to a really shallow area, about 3 feet deep. It was an oyster bar, teeming with neat sea life! We saw a dolphin, a leatherback turtle, a bull-head shark, some spoon-bills flying over head, an osprey, and all sorts of neat stuff.

The fishing was darn good, too. We used chopped up lady fish for bait (I caught two of these) and threw them in over the sandy parts of the oyster bars. Chad caught a really nice redfish that we ate for dinner last night. Mmmm. My favorite is super-fresh redfish! We had it cooked at the Lazy Flamingo. It was amazing!

We had some other great fishing adventures as well. Dad's big catch of the day wasn't a fish at all. We had stopped by North Captiva (a very private island only accessible by boat and very, very expensive) and were fishing with more minnows, and had attracted quite a number of gulls and shore-birds. Well, one of them made a dive for dad's minnow and got caught in his line. Like the good person he is, he reeled in the gull to untangle it rather than just cut the line and leave it to be tangled and maimed. When it got to the boat, however, it was in no mood to be saved, thrashing and snapping at my brother when he tried to grab it. I shouted at my brother to move, ripped off my hat and took off my cover-up shirt and threw it over the bird's head to calm it down, then gently picked it up so that we could untangle the line. The bird was perfectly still and calm while dad unwound the line from its legs. Then I uncovered the bird, and with one parting snap at my fingers, it flew off. That kept the birds away for about 15 minutes. After that, we shouted at the birds to ward them off.

There was a really neat bird fishing under the boat with us for a while, too. It was an anhinga (or a cormorant, we can't decide), a bird that swims faster than fish to catch them under water. It would surface by the back of the boat while I fished and look at me as if to thank me for attracting all the yummy fish! Chad saw it underwater and thought it was a shark! The best was when I caught a fish (barely bigger than my bait) threw it back in the water, and the anhinga came and gobbled it up. :) Glad it didn't go to waste!

The best fish we caught that day was at that clam bar I was talking about (didn't want to spoil the fun by giving it all away right away), and it was caught by Amanda. The dolphin was circling around us, seeing what we were up to. It started hanging out by where we were throwing our hooks, and that made us nervous. All of a sudden Amanda's hook was hit hard, the dolphin took off, and everything went nuts. We all pulled in our lines so we could focus on helping her. Something was running fast on her line. Jimmy told her to start reeling in anytime the fish stopped running, and to follow it around the boat if it moved. Amanda couldn't see anything, because she wasn't wearing her glasses, but we assured her that there was something on the end of her line. We could see the size of the thing when it got closer. It was a monster. See for yourself.

It was a 42 inch long, 21 lb snook that Jimmy guessed was about 16 years old. It was huge! She couldn't even hold it by herself! He said it was the biggest snook he had ever helped anyone catch. Remember, this was the first time Amanda had ever been fishing.

The funny thing about snook is that you can only keep snook between 28 and 30 or so inches because of the way they breed. They only mature after 6 years and are supposed to be fantastic eating, so they're over-fished. This is the farthest north you can even find them. So, we had to put this beautiful fish back, but will never, ever forget the excitement of catching it, and the look on Amanda's face!

That was seriously the biggest fish any of us had ever seen in person.

The birds would line up on the dock when we returned from our fishing expedition. They knew that if we were successful, they would get the fish guts. It was so amazing. There was a snowy egret that landed on the boat before it even docket to start picking minnows out of the live well. Then the pelicans arrived to wait under the fish-gutting table for scraps, just like doggies in a row. Just hilarious.

And that is my tale of fishing. Today, it is raining and I am resting. Tonight my family is having dinner with Bonnie and Gene, Mike's Aunt and Uncle, who are staying at their timeshare on Sanibel Island. It should be really nice.

Hope you enjoyed the pictures as much as I enjoyed taking them!
~Kristen

Correction

2008-03-21T12:45:00.002-05:00

Please don't take my last post to mean that I want you to vote for Hillary. Until the democratic supporter is decided, I'm behind Obama.

Obama will probably be on of my favorite people even if he's not the nominee. His speech was so important. Yes, it was during an election and a reaction to a somewhat negative situation. No, that's not ideal. But this is when the man has the stage, this is his opportunity to make his words heard, and I admire him for them just the same.

I think I should write more about his speech and what it meant to me. In order to do so, however, I'm going to have to get into a lot of things about my past, my experience as a Chapter 220 student in integrated schools, my struggle with race, and how his speech brought that all together. That's going to take a while. To be honest, I have to finish up a job application right now, so I shouldn't take the time.

But I did want to clarify my current support for Mr. Obama, my conviction that he is a fabulous orator, and that his speech should be heard by all, not just in snipits on Fox News.

And how sickening it was, after listening to his speech, to hear the news outlets wondering what "black people would think of his speech." I wonder if they listened at all.

~Kristen

Gender and Politics

2008-03-17T21:51:00.002-05:00

This is a great article about "Post feminism" and gender issues in politics these days. This really captures how I feel, particularly about the gender issue in regards to Hillary Clinton. I didn't vote for her, but I deeply understand the huge support she has from older women, and why her candidacy is important. In some ways, I wish she weren't the wife of a former president, or didn't have some of the connections she does. It is important that this nation have a woman president just for the sake of having a woman president. That is not something that I say lightly, but it is true.

Until people stop laughing when a man shouts "iron my shirts" at a female candidate just as they would if a white man shouted that at a black candidate, the blinders to gender and sex inequities will still be firmly in place. I am not satisfied to live in a nation where the most powerful people are old men and the pretty young women who destroy their careers.

~Kristen

Yuck! Plastic Living In the Oceans!!

2008-03-01T01:20:00.002-06:00

You have to take a look at this story. Why isn't it getting any press here in the states? Why don't we know that there is now so much plastic trash in our oceans that we cannot hope to clean it up?

I'm just flabbergasted. Here we talk about maybe cutting back on plastic bag uses, and no one even thinks to bring this up? This is one of the ways in which our over-use of petroleum and petroleum-based products has impacted the earth, and not a way that we normally would think of.

We should probably be discussing this.

Ben is Famous!

2008-02-13T20:51:00.002-06:00

Well, more famous. An entry from his blog got picked up and published in The Capital Times this week here in Madison. It's not like he's never been published. I don't keep track of the number of times any more. What I was particularly impressed with was the honesty and frankness of his writing, as though he were writing only for himself, and that it was still picked up by a newspaper as something worth putting in print. *I* think it is worth putting in print, but I'm generally surprised when traditional sources print something worth reading. Overall, the Capital Times is a progressive paper, but hey, it's still print and therefore suspect.

So, go read the blog. It's about how the Capital Times is going to go "online only." Very hip, and probably because of corporate reasons. It's a cool article. Read and enjoy with your hip latte and beret, you progressive non-conformist you.

~Kristen

Pig Brain Allergies Anyone?

2008-02-04T22:42:00.000-06:00

(for all of you like my husband, please not that the blog title is also a link to an article)

I went to get my allergies tested today. Oh boy. First, they had me not take any antihistamines for five days. They asked me to do that as though it was no big deal. It was kinda a big deal. Let me put it to you this way: I remember mom having to open up the capsules of my allergy medicine into applesauce so I could eat it, because I wasn't old enough to swallow pills yet, and I learned the difference between left and right by having to remember which arm I had to have my allergy shot in from week to week. No big deal.

I've not felt so great for five days, let me tell you.

I got lots of scratches. That was fun. It's really not a big deal. It's fun to watch the hives grow and meld together. The worse part was the 14 needles they had to shoot under my skin to do further testing when I didn't react enough to the scratches. Just great.

What was interesting was my *new* allergies. Yes! I have *brand* *new* *allergies*!! I've always been allergic to those old things like all trees, all grasses, most molds, animals with fur, and "remarkably" allergic to dust mites. Blah blah blah.

I am *now* the proud new owner of allergies to cherries, peanuts, almonds, walnuts and sesame seeds! Oh, and cows. I'm also allergic to cows. I didn't actually know that before.

But that brings up all sorts of questions. They didn't test me for many foods, and my doctor said he doesn't trust the reliability of the fruit and vegetable antigens that they did test me for. Even so, the only symptoms I had of the nut allergies were headaches. Could there be a connection between my headaches and allergies? That makes me want to do further testing to see if any other sensitivities come up that I can avoid to make these headaches less terrible.

Then again, perhaps I just think they're terrible because I have been miserable for the past 5 days without my antihistamines. Ugh.

Right, the article. All this talk of allergies made me wonder what allergies can really do to us. We don't have a cure for allergies or asthma or eczema. We don't really fully understand the human auto-immune system. This article is a very, very strange example of that. Involving pig brains. And Minnesota. What's not to love?

~Kristen

2008-01-13T15:50:00.000-06:00

These are some wind chimes at a cool store in Door County. They were from all over the world, tuned very precisely, and hung outside in a gazebo. When the wind blew softly, it made them ring in a beautiful, brain-massaging way. I would make my very own wind chime gazebo some day if I could. I think some of the chimes were $1200, though. It would be a very expensive endeavor. I'd have to own a lot of land, too, so as not to annoy any neighbors.

I hope you can get a feel for the really cool experience of standing in this gazebo up in Door County. It is located at the Blue Dolphin in Fish Creek. (I think)

2008-01-08T16:25:00.000-06:00

Free Rice!

It's a new game that everyone's playing! And yes, there will be free rice! Only not for you, for people who *really* need it!

For you, a lesson in one of three things:

1. How poor your vocabulary really is
2. How lucky you can guess for how long
3. How long it will take you to to realize that cheating feels better when it is feeding the hungry.

Or, perhaps all three?

Seriously, it's worth playing. :) Better than freecell!

2008-01-08T14:17:00.000-06:00

What will it take?

Today another ranking listed the US last in preventable deaths in the 19 leading industrial nations. The authors say that doesn't mean that the US has bad health care, it's just bad for those who don't have it.

Well, right! There are too many people without health care, and more and more people without it every day. I am just not sure what it will take for people in power to understand that we simply cannot ethically allow this to be a country where the "haves" have the right to health and the "have nots" don't. We allow all people access to roads, police and fire protection, school and libraries. How can we believe that access to a doctor is any less important?

This has nothing to do with universal INSURANCE coverage. What is this health insurance anyway. I've seen these plans to mandate that everyone buy insurance. You can't squeeze blood from a turnip. The people I used to work with weren't uninsured because they were lazy, I assure you.

This must be a paradigm shift. Or perhaps it is a question of entitlement. Or fear that if EVERYONE had access to health care, perhaps there would be none left for those who can now afford to pay for it. Maybe it is just such difficulty pointing the finger at the party to blame for the state of things that no one seems to be able to accomplish anything at all. Of course, that isn't to say that we don't know who is to blame. We do know some of the offenders. But they're big players in politics, and politics doesn't like offending big players, even if they're also big offenders.

So, maybe it's a question of who we love more, the people or the players. Who do we think deserve to be happier. Are we satisfied with being last? What are we willing to do, if anything, to change that?

I bet nothing changes. But then again, I'd love to be proven wrong.

2007-11-02T16:18:00.000-05:00

This is what my husband does!

At least according to The Onion... It's sort-of how I think of things in a very general way, too. I like to call the device he works on, which is named Pegasus and is a spherical torus device, the Science Machine. I *know* it's not, and even know some of the reasons that it is technically incorrect to say that it "makes science." It just seems so much more approachable when you put it that way, you know?

Mike wrote a more succinct note about it in his blog. I'm just glad it's important enough to write about in The Onion.

In other good news, the doctor said I can take muscle relaxants to help me survive the difficult transition to being able to do Yoga without giving myself terrible migraines. The idea is that, in the long term, Yoga is really, really good for me, even if in the short term it puts me in bed for two days with a migraine that makes me sicker than I've ever been. It still seems sort of against the whole idea of yoga, to have to take muscle relaxants...

~Kristen

2007-11-01T13:37:00.001-05:00

These are pictures of our pumpkins this year. Mike's is a happy pumpkin. Mine is a hedgehog!

This is the farm where we picked our pumpkins. It was in the middle of just about nowhere to the West of Middleton. It was such a perfect day for pumpkin picking!

The leaves in Madison are beautiful colors, and the sky has been clear and blue, so walks have been highly enjoyable.

This is my mom on some of the stones crossing a small stream near our house in one of the preserves. She had already fallen into one at this point. Don't tell her I told you that.

2007-11-01T12:58:00.000-05:00

My Life's Purpose

So, I realized the other day that I know exactly why I'm here and what I'm supposed to be doing. It doesn't seem to be that big of a deal, really, but I guess a lot of people struggle with it for a lot of their lives. I feel moved to share what I've figured out.

I don't think I'm here to *do* anything specific, like take a bullet for an innocent bystander in the year 2030 or something dramatic like that. I am here on a journey. My journey will be full of lessons taught by the circumstances and people in my life. Some lessons are simple, like treat everyone like a sister (that's the latest from my two hedgehogs) to see beyond anger to the suffering that causes it (from my own painful experiences). My lessons seem to be pointing me towards learning how to be a more compassionate, giving, balanced, understanding and patient person, but I don't know that there is an ultimate goal. It's a process. I try to look for the teachers that come into my life, no matter what size or shape they may take.

My purpose here is to help. That is what is clear. That might mean helping people who are suffering or helping them find justice or helping animals, I'm not sure. It may mean helping the people in my life find happiness. I am sure that I don't need to know more than the next step at any given time, and all I have to do to find the next step is to follow what is life-giving to me. Right now that means hedgehogs, long walks, music, light exercise that doesn't give me migraines, and good, healthy food. It also means looking for jobs that will not only pay money but also make me feel like I am following the right path, the path of helping. It's about doing the right things along the way, not about having a final destination planned.

There are definitely times I feel lost. That's normal. But when the fog lifts, there I am on my path. Maybe I'm a few feet off the trail, but I can find it again. And when I'm on it, I can tell. Things are just good. My migraines are a good indication of when I'm drifting off the path. They're really bad when I'm feeling lost, or going in the wrong direction. They are a sign that is very hard to ignore, for better or worse!

So there you have it. My life's purpose as I see it. Notice I didn't mention God. I don't like talking about God's role in my life. I haven't figured that out yet. I sort-of figure that by the time I figure that out, I will either be meeting or not meeting Him/Her, and won't have to puzzle it out for myself anymore. I follow what is life-giving, and believe what I feel. I know there is something more than myself, but there's so much baggage when we use the word God... Oh, my endless struggle with Christianity. I swear.

~Kristen

2007-10-31T10:25:00.000-05:00

Big Business Profits Make Technology Suck
I find that really irritating. Don't you?

The title isn't very concise. I don't like that we have worse and higher priced cell phone, internet, cable and other technology services because we let big corporations dictate how they are to be regulated in order for them to generously provide these really expensive upgrades to our grateful citizens. Bleh. We'd be better off doing it with government contractors, having them build up the infrastructure and then leasing it out to the corporations, even though that would be totally inefficient and painful.

The article was good.
~Kristen

2007-10-29T09:05:00.000-05:00

The status on my internal holy war

I read a very interesting article this morning as I was contemplating my most recent emotional frustration with organized Christian religion. It was a very patient discussion of the recent shift in Evangelical viewpoints and particularly their political bent. No, they're not tree-hugging lefties now, but the wild, lock-step Republican scaries have seemingly retired to their corners to nurse their wounded pride after the failure of their perfect, God-sent president.

Like I said, it was patient, and much more forgiving that I just was. I'm not patient or forgiving in general. When all the scary lock-stepping and Republicanism was going on, I was very tempted to move to a different country and pretend to have been born there. Call me young and rash, because I probably am. I do not yet have the years to recognize when the country is going through a phase. To me, it appeared that it might have been the end of the free world as I knew it.

In any case, it was a very interesting article about the internal struggle of the Evangelical church. It almost made me feel sad for them having to re-evaluate their stance and actions over the past 8 years. Almost. It made me more ashamed for them.

What I thought was most interesting was its discussion on the values espoused by the Evangelical church during the previous two elections, specifically anti abortion and gay marriage, why they have historically been so important to the Evangelical church, and why movements to a more balanced view of Christian values is so difficult for some to comprehend. The article suggested that the focus on gay marriage and abortion is largely a working-class issue, and that as the church has become more established, it is now looking to more middle-class issues.

I just don't think that's it. I like to be more generous than that. Even though there are many working-class people who prefer simple, unthinking morals and religion, I would hope that there are some that consider the wider implications of Christianity and morality and social policy. I really, really hesitate to tie social awareness to household income or profession. I think it has more to do with whether people have the internet, if they read papers from large cities, whether they know people who are different from themselves. It's more a small-mindedness versus an open-mindedness to me.

Let's face it: Gay marriage and abortion are an idiot's way to being good, moral Christians. They are knee-jerk issues. Binary. Yes-no. There is no sort-of, no shades of gray. They are like sports where you can choose a side and cheer for it. You can make cheeky slogans and bumper stickers. You can boil it down to over-simplified sermons. It's a very easy way to approach values. Besides, for most white, middle-aged married Evangelicals, it's easy not to be gay-married or have an abortion. Ta da! They're good Christians!

What am I trying to say? Maybe that Evangelicals aren't changing their political and social stance because they're earning more money. Maybe it's because people are realizing that we're not living in the 1950's anymore. There isn't just one role for a man or a woman or a child. The USA can't just invade a country and win. Things are COMPLICATED. There are global implications of driving our cars, using household cleaners, and even eating hamburgers. It's hard to keep track of whether it's more ethical to eat vegetarian or eat organic or eat local. Gasoline is bad, but some say ethanol from corn produces just as much greenhouse gas in its production. You need to watch your budget, but you KNOW that shirt from Walmart was made in a sweatshop somewhere and that the employees at the store in your town aren't getting their breaks or healthcare. You like chicken, but you know what they do to them, and you know that's not ok, but organic meat is so expensive, and your husband doesn't like tofu. So where does Jesus stand on that?

Abortion and gay marriage are way easier. And so is being a Republican.

And how that relates to my internal holy war: I struggle with those issues. Methodist sermons tell you to love one another. UGH. Ok already. I got that lesson a few years back. What about the chickens? And my car? And Walmart? How do I resolve the differences between what I know is ethically right and what is practical? I am frustrated that "my" religion doesn't place as high a value on the issues that I value most, such as animals, the environment, and social justice, in that order. Rules about what to do and not to do, and what is or isn't a sin when it comes to sex or material wealth or worship or reading the bible just doesn't interest me unless there is something about how to resolve the issues that are most important to *me*.

Ah, yes, I search for my own personal, tree-and-squirrel-hugging, fair-trade-coffee-drinking Jesus, but only if he doesn't make me talk to him all the time. I'm not into clingy relationships.

2007-10-21T21:55:00.001-05:00

It's a really nice fall. So I took the hedgies out for some pictures. I have to say, they didn't like it. Maybe it's because they're albino. Maybe it's because they're nocturnal. Maybe it's because they're albino and nocturnal. Or maybe our grass smells funny. It's really hard to say. In any case, I did get some nice pictures with Mike's help (he was the hedgie wrangler). For a present to myself, I'm going to custom order tiles by Judy Peters of all my hedgies to use as coasters for the living room. She does great art, and I think it would be an artistic way to incorporate them into the house without plastering the walls with their photos and ribbons and things.

In any case, it's fun to take the hedgehogs outside to see what they will do, for about 5 minutes before they get really scared and then I start feeling bad for them. It might be more fun for them to run around at night in the dark, but I imagine the trolls would get them then. While I have made peace with the fact that their life spans are very short, I have no wish to shorten it even further by troll abduction.

2007-10-14T15:33:00.000-05:00

Well, I'm out in Denver and finishing up a weekend full of fun and adventure! I'll have to post more later, because I'm currently exhausted, but I wanted to put up a picture and a brief "here's where I am" as though anyone is waiting on bated breath for such a thing. I'll be here for another night hanging out with people and resting up before traveling back tomorrow. Perhaps I'll have more time to write then while all the other folks head off and I wait for my flight to leave. Well, what can you do! For now, I go off to nap. It is an excellent thing to do.

2007-10-04T10:47:00.000-05:00

SPIDERS
I like spiders. I think they're really interesting creatures. Yeah, I know, most people are afraid of them, or they don't like them because they bite, which is really just another form of fear. It seems unjustified to me. Mosquitoes bite more often, as do horse flies and heck, even puppies, yet spiders are the ones people fear. Perhaps it is because people feel that spiders prey on them at night, or make them feel vulnerable in general. To me, it seems that spiders are afraid of me when I come near them, or are protective of their space, and they have never tried to wrap me up in a ball of spider silk and eat me. I doubt any spider the size of those around Wisconsin that tried to eat humans would survive long enough to reproduce. Thank you, evolution, for that.
In any case, I like spiders. I think they are beautiful. Last week I walked to a pharmacy near my house and passed by a number of empty stores in a strip mall. The spiders had taken over. There were a half-dozen or more different varieties, and I got some very interesting pictures of them. They were all very good subjects, holding very still and not jumping out at the camera. I suppose spiders that tried to eat cameras would also not survive long enough to reproduce. When you look close enough, they have such beautiful, intricate markings. This one in particular struck me as beautiful. The patterns seemed almost Frank Lloyd Wright-ish. I haven't been able to find spider-species identification guides online, so I can't tell you more about what this spider is all about, just that I found it hanging in a window.
People's fear of spiders is like people's fear of a lot of things, I suppose. We can be quite irrational. I think there is a certain gratification in loving things that other people don't understand. Taking the time to look and study something that others pass by can be so deeply rewarding. Perhaps it is hedgehogs that taught me that. Perhaps classical music. I have looked at spiders and thought about them and made up my own mind not to be afraid of them. I doubt this spider appreciation will change my life, but it is interesting to think about. It also makes for great photography.

2007-10-03T15:31:00.000-05:00

This is a picture of my two hedgehog girls, Harriet and Bianca. They are doing pretty well these days. This is a picture of Bianca licking her nose. Her sister, Harriet, is snuggled up beside her. They were getting comfortable as I held them in my shirt. They are very lovely girls! It's so interesting to have sisters. No hedgehogs I've ever had have been accustomed to being around other hedgehogs. These girls cannot be apart! They snuffle and shove and crawl over one another, but they are always curled up together when I visit them during the day.
My Girls are also the biggest hedgehogs I've ever had living with me. Harriet is the small one, weighing in at about 600 grams, and Bianca is just over 700. To give you some perspective, Sophie, my first hedgehog, topped out at 320, Lola at 350, and Ash is currently at 250. Yes, these girls are literally twice the size of my little Ash. And no, it's not just fat. They both run quite a bit at night, and each can curl up into a ball quite comfortably. Well, ok, Bianca is getting a little fat, but I've started measuring their food again, so her weight should be under control. They are also just big hedgehogs! They would starve long before they could weigh just 250g. Sort of like Mike's dad is much, much larger than I am, I guess.
So, there's the picture! Ta da!

2007-09-21T22:28:00.000-05:00

Our First Car Crash

So, I was in a car accident tonight. To answer your some common initial questions:
No, no one was hurt.
No, I wasn't driving.
No, it wasn't our fault.
No, an asteroid did not hit our car.
Yes, our car was a Buick.
Yes, the other car looked like it slammed into a brick wall.

Now that that's out of the way, let me explain what happened since I'm sure you're very interested. My friend Nathan came to visit from Google-land (some call it California) and we had dinner with him at the fantastic Hubbard Street Diner. Mmm. I had some carrot cake that was exactly like my wedding cake, because that's where we ordered the wedding cake from. It was awesome. I digress. After dinner we took Nathan downtown to go to the Bela Fleck concert with his friends John and Jessica (I *think* their names are John and Jessica). We said our goodbyes and were headed back home to Middleton for a quiet evening.

We were headed West on Campus drive and were in the center lane as we approached the intersection of University Bay Drive as can be seen on this google map. We had a green light. A car made a left across traffic and barely made it, which I thought strange seeing that it was dark and rainy, but whatever, it's Madison. After that car barely made it, a blue car started to follow it. I saw it before Mike did (Mike was driving), I yelled and he slammed on the brakes. There was no way to stop in time. The car hit us in the front driver's side hard enough to knock us into the right lane (which was fortunately empty). We got slammed pretty hard, and jarred. Mike's neck will be sore, and the seatbelt caught me hard around my lower stomach, leaving me feeling like I was punched. Parts of the car flew. It sucked.

Then everyone asked if everyone else was ok. For like 20 minutes. That's how I'd summarize it. I didn't ask if anyone else was ok, because I figured everyone else asking was pretty much covering the topic, but many, many people asked me. An ambulance arrived quickly (we were right outside of the hospital) and we told them we were ok. A firetruck arrived (to help how, I wondered) and we told them we were ok. By-standers helped us and the other driver stopped by our car and police were there and a tow-truck driver. It was a happenin' scene. Oh, and it was raining and we all got really wet. I did not have a good time.

I also broke my glasses. Granted, they were already being held together with super glue, but still. Now they're REALLY more broken than they were.

In all, we're fine. Mike was taking the bus to work anyway, and I have a car if we need to go places. We have car insurance even if the other driver didn't (which he didn't). We aren't hurt badly, just sort of jostled. We also have fantastic health insurance should we require medical attention tomorrow. It could be a lot worse.

But we could have also not been in an accident, which would have been better. Because contrary to how cool and sexy car accidents look on tv, they're not, kids. Say no to car accidents.

My left-overs from dinner are ok, though.

~KZB

2007-09-05T09:18:00.000-05:00

There's a cricket loose in my livingroom right now. I love it. It's such a sweet, calming sound. I think it must be behind the couch somewhere. I also bet that it's the same one-legged cricket that I tried to remove from the house last week (a leg fell off in the process, unfortunately). Somehow it got past the insect-killing barrier my husband put around the door (which still makes me squeamish) and onto the rug. I figure that makes it a superior cricket, and one worthy of providing entertainment to the Bongard household.

It provides a very interesting counterpoint to the construction noises coming from out front. When I say construction noises, I mean the BOOMS and house shaking RATTLES, with some noisy hums and metal-on-metal scrapes. You should also know that it takes a lot to rattle our house. We live on a concrete slab. I never knew concrete could move like that.

So yes, cricket song is nice. I could lay here and listen to it all day. Unfortunately, I have other things to do. I think I'm having a wedding any minute now.
~KZB

2007-08-26T13:23:00.001-05:00

I'm going to have a wedding any minute now. I think it's going to be good. I think that I have thought of everything that needs to be done in order to ensure a good time is had by all, and that all of us are wearing pants or dresses as appropriate. My hair will look very nice, the dress fits, we will have music and food and cake, and there will be a ceremony. Oh, and pictures, we'll take pictures. Those are the really important things. Especially the cake.

I really like picking music for the reception. I've had a great time with iTunes and our dj's digital music system. Do you know how many versions of "Rainbow Connection" there are? More than you'd ever want to hear, that's for sure! I think we'll have some really fun dancing music and ballroom music, and plenty of stuff to make people cry for sure. The dance floor should be big enough for everyone to enjoy!

And of course, we'll have cake. Did I mention I'm excited about that?

The beer on tap at the Overture Center is Spotted Cow, which is absolutely wonderful. No offense to people who like Miller or Pabst, but they suck and anyone who drinks them sucks too. I'm kidding. But I am still excited to have such a delightful micro-brew on tap for the wedding.

I hope I have some time to spend with my family even with such a busy day. I know all the ladies who are getting our hair done will have a fun morning at the salon. We'll have bagels and coffee and juice and mimosas and snacks and stuff. I plan to pick up some chocolate croissants, too. Mmm!

Now I just have to finish up with my hedgehog ornaments for the hedgehog ornament exchange so I can get started on making the seating name tags and stamping them and stuff... Whee!

Oh, and here's a preview picture for you to enjoy!
~Kristen

2007-07-16T19:17:00.000-05:00

A Therapeutic Blog

I need to write a therapeutic blog today. I saw the movie "SiCKO." I'm generally anti-Michael Moore. I'm not into shock journalism. It's just not my thing. That said, I currently work as a benefits-specialist at a non-profit public interest law firm. I thought it would be interesting to see a big-screen take on the issues I see every day, and the firm bought us tickets, so going to see it on our "field trip" this afternoon seemed like a no-brainer.

I wasn't surprised by the story of the man who had to choose which finger to put back on because of the cost. I wasn't surprised by the mom who recounted the death of her daughter that resulted from her seeking ER treatment from a hospital outside of her network. I wasn't shocked when he discussed the length to which insurance companies go to avoid paying benefits to people who are sick, the ferocity of lobbyists and lack of political action. I've seen all that before.

The tear-jerking stories are the ones I hear every single day on the phone. Every single day. I've heard insurance companies lie over the phone about what the law says, abuse their unsophisticated clients and put their health in jeopardy. I hear Medicaid workers tell me that their caseloads are going up and their budgets are slashed, and how aggressively they will pursue a poor mother who was three dollars over the income limit last month. I even sometimes get to tell people what they are too used to hearing: There's nothing I can do to help you.

There isn't help for everyone. There are little kids who get leukemia and can't afford treatments. Yeah, and they even die. Little kids die.

Seeing it on the big screen was different. I watched the stories of the 9/11 rescue workers, how they aren't being taken care of. I watched their faces when, during a trip to Cuba, they finally were told not to worry, that it was all going to be ok. Cuba doesn't charge for medical treatments, by the way. Incidentally, Cubans have a longer life expectancy and a lower infant mortality rate than Americans.

And no, I'm not saying that Cuba is without it's problems. I'm not saying France is perfect, or England or Canada either. They all have problems, some more serious than ours by a long shot.

But their faces. They cried. They were without pain for the first time in years. They could breathe. They finally knew what was wrong with them, and how to treat it. And I cried. They had happy endings, they got their medicines and dentures and treatment plans.

And I can't do that for the people who call me.

And I just think about how horrible it is. How heartbreaking. My clients aren't moochers. They're hard-working people, trying to get by, but facing premiums of $1,000 or more per month, and deductibles of $7,000 per family member. And yes, some have "health savings accounts," but when you're poor you don't have things like "savings." You don't have things like a car or bread sometimes either.

And why are they poor? What about a mom who gets her daughter treatment the doctors say will save her life, even when the insurance company says they won't pay? What single mom, even one working three jobs, can afford $30,000 in hospital bills? And what mom would put a price on her daughter's life?

What about the families who aren't broken, but are working for themselves. Small business owners "living the American dream," right? But they don't qualify for a group plan. They buy private insurance, but private insurance can refuse to cover you, or can raise your premiums by over 200% to drive you away. They don't qualify for COBRA after that. And they're not quite bad enough off to qualify for a government program. Aid from Red Cross is a one-time thing. They're a family, with several young kids.

So many people assume that there is someone out there who helps these people in need. A church, they think, or maybe some sort of charitable foundation. I used to think that, too. I've learned better. There is no help out there for these people.

I know them. I talk to them.

And after a while, it doesn't even phase me. It doesn't surprise me or shock me or make me angry. I don't cry. But I get migraines. And I get depressed. But hey, I have insurance. I earned my way into the land of the insured by marrying a man I loved and would have married anyway, if several months later than I did. I can afford the therapy and drugs, at least for now. At least until he switches jobs and we lose insurance. Or until one of us becomes seriously ill. Paying 20% of your medical costs is nothing until you need a million dollar bone marrow transplant.

And so it was good to watch the movie while I wasn't in "professional" mode. I remembered what it was like to be on the outside of all this mess, the devastation, and look in. It was good to cry.

It was also neat to watch a movie where I knew that the facts he was citing were real. Yeah, we have the worst infant mortality rate in the industrialized world. And yeah, 18,000 US citizens die every year simply because they don't have insurance. I can cite those figures if you want to see them.

Tomorrow I go back to my "professional" mode, back to the clients, back to telling people to call their legislators because there's nothing more I can do for them.

2007-07-10T21:54:00.000-05:00

What's in a Wegistry

Wove, twoo wove... Name that movie!

Registries are funny things. I mean, you are sort of telling people to buy you presents. I don't really think of it that way anymore. You get married and people want to give you stuff. I know I want to give stuff to people who get married. I think it's just a "thing." I suppose registries are better than getting six single-settings of china in different colors, or 12 microwaves. Twelve microwaves? That's just silly!

Mike and I have worked hard on our registry, which sounds strange, but it's a lot like shopping for things in all the bad ways including deciding colors and patterns, without the fun actually-getting-things part. Well, not yet anyway.

I digress. We were working on our registry tonight because Mike confessed to me that he secretly loved my old flannel sheets (that don't fit our current bed). Of course, the only thing to do was register for them! As we were perusing our registry, we noticed that there was a spot where we could see what has already been purchased! Crazy! So, being curious, we looked. As was expected, nothing was purchased yet, because the wedding isn't for a few months. Nothing...

... except a cheese grater.

I just find that really funny. Is that strange?

Mike, by the way, coined the term Wegistry tonight.
Wedding + Registry = Wegistry
Only a rocket scientist, I tell you!

2007-07-02T09:23:00.000-05:00

Go see my wedding website!

The invites are out, and the site is up! At http://wedding.kravlor.com you can read about me and Mike, learn more about the wedding location, find a hotel room and search our registries. We will continue to develop the site as time goes on, including details about the meal choices, our engagement story, and construction information.

I have to say, getting those invites out the door was a big relief, even though it was Mike who did most of the work. We've even gotten a few RSVPs back already, which is pretty neat. All the big things are done now, so it's just little things like buying shoes, reserving tuxes, finding a hair salon and finalizing the menu that are left. No problem!

Also, I'm officially being sworn in on July 18th here in Madison, which is rather exciting. I've also received notification that I am now in the pool of potential hires for the Wisconsin State Public Defenders office. Now all that needs to happen is for a PD to leave and create an opening in one of the four or so counties where I've agreed to work. :) I'm not holding my breath, but it's still nice to know I'm employable!

That's all for now. Cheers!
~Kristen

2007-06-13T14:29:00.001-05:00

Why I'm not afraid to grow older

I was walking through the mall with Lauren yesterday, discussing the beauty of short engagements and fine china, when we passed by a store I hadn't visited in a while. It's called Wet Seal, and it's pretty much what it sounds. No, it's not actual seal skins, nor is it swim wear, but the clothes there certainly fit about the same as both a seal's skin and a bathing suit. It's for teens and maybe early twenties. I'd look for clubbing clothes there back when I did things like "go out."

Like I said, I haven't visited the store for a while. I looked for a while at the clothes hanging in the front window. In the past, I might have felt jealous of the size of the human-like figures wearing the clothing (ugh, everything looks great as a size 2!). Yesterday I didn't feel that at all. I looked at the clothes and thought, wow, I'm glad I don't want to dress like that anymore.

It's not because I don't like fashion these days. Fashion is fine. And it isn't because I want to lay around in sweatpants and fell comfortable. I wear plenty of uncomfortable clothing. I felt glad because I finally felt like I was too old to shop at Wet Seal.

I'm 26. I am starting to get lines on my face, though only in places where I wrinkle when I smile. I've started caring about the arch supports in my shoes. I've cut my morning routine in half and check my make-up less often. I don't try on seven outfits before going to a social event, and I go to dinner parties rather than drinking parties. I go to bed before midnight almost every night, and can wake myself before 8 without much trouble. I have stretch marks and celulite.

And I love it.

I have earned a quieter life. I have earned a break from high drama. I KNOW who I am, I really do, and I'm ok with it. I'm ok with letting people know the "real me," and don't feel like I need to do anything in particular to make them think of me differently than they do. The friends I have, though fewer, are good people, and they're people who don't get upset when I don't call every day.

I wonder why some people are so afraid of growing old. I feel like I've survived, and I'm proud of that. I know I'm not done with excitement and joy; there are many landmarks I haven't met yet, and a lot I have to learn. But I look forward to growing older, of gaining the peace and confidence that can only come from knowing that life is about more than just the current crisis, that people don't keep track of how often you wear a particular shirt, that everyone gets zits, and that usually no one notices when you do something stupid. I'm so relieved to be where I am, with the people I'm with. I'm going to soak it in.

2007-06-05T22:37:00.001-05:00

You should really check out the pictures on my gallery. It's one of the links to the right. You'll find pictures of my wedding, pictures of my new hedgehog Ash, and all sorts of awesome things. It's totally sweet.

I like not being a student, by the way. Now if only I could manage the "being a working adult" thing...

~KZB

2007-05-15T19:53:00.000-05:00

Jenny Sengpiel died on Saturday in a plane crash in Montana.

Jenny and I went to high school together. We drove downtown to Milwaukee every Monday night for MYSO rehearsal. We were best friends for a while, though we drifted apart in later years. She was engaged to be married in August. She and her fiance both died when the plane they were in crashed shortly after take-off. They were going sky-diving before leaving Montana at the end of the month.

Even though I have a paper due Thursday and an exam tomorrow, I just can't stop thinking about her. We had reconnected on Facebook this year. She was a really good person, and a fantastic musician. I remember riding with her and talking about what music we'd want played at our funerals when we died. She and I both decided on the Rutter Requim. I think they're playing it at her funeral on Monday.

I am just so, so sad. I'm looking back on our time in high school and thinking, we didn't know that she only had 10 more years, or 8 more years, before her life would be over. She was supposed to be just starting her life when it was really almost done.

I just think about the kids she should have had. I think about the cd's she was supposed to record, and the orchestras she should have played with, and the people she should have given music lessons to. I think about how she was supposed to be a big sister for so much longer than she was. She was in love. She was just starting.

And now she's gone. I wonder how she'd feel about being in the news, and what she'd think about how very many people cried when they heard the news. I wonder what she was thinking when she died. I hope she held Kyle's hand.

I wrote to a good friend of mine and told her how much I appreciated her. I haven't gotten mad at Mike. I haven't slept well. I just hurt and hurt and hurt. I can focus for a little while, and then I just hurt.

2007-05-11T10:32:00.000-05:00

Only after the last tree has been cut down,
only after the last river has been poisoned,
only after the last fish has been caught,
only then will you realize that money cannot be eaten.
--The Cree People

2007-04-30T11:07:00.000-05:00

Blood Donation: 0 for 3

I tried to donate blood today. If you don't know, it's a really big deal for me to try to donate. I have a bad history of shot and blood-drawing fainting episodes for whatever reason. Yes, I have to lay down to get my flu shot every year. Yes, I know this makes me a wimp.

But it just so happens that I married a wonderful man who, in addition to all the other altruistic and amazing things he does, believes very strongly in donating blood regularly. He's been asking me to come donate with him since we met. Today it finally worked in my schedule and so I said I'd go with him.

Now I've tried to donate blood in the past. After 9/11 happened I waited for hours to donate, just to be told that a medication I was on made me ineligible, or at least made blood donation inadvisable. I tried again two years ago after my regime of allergy shots made me more comfortable with needles in general, but was anemic.

So I geared myself up for donation today. I've been thinking about it and trying to re-frame it as a positive experience all morning. I drank lots of water yesterday, ate leafy greens and meat, and even felt enthusiastic about the process. I did the finger-prick with no problem. It was super easy! And my finger even bled, which is not a sure-thing for me generally speaking. They had a new machine that was more accurate in its estimation of iron in the blood, so I was hopeful that it would show that I was slightly over the minimum of iron instead of slightly under.

Yeah, no.

So, once again, I have been thwarted. Maybe I'll pick up some iron pills on the way home tonight and try again in a few days. At least I tried, right?

~Kristen

2007-04-20T15:32:00.000-05:00

This afternoon Lola was put to sleep. Her Wobbly Hedgehog Syndrome had progressed to the point that she could no longer eat or drink on her own. It hurts a lot to say goodbye, but I have no doubt that it was the right thing to do.

This is the first time I've lost a hedgehog without another one here at home waiting for me. It feels very empty without her. It will be a while before that emptiness fades.

In honor of Lola and her beautifully trouble-making life, I've come up with some Life Lessons according to Lola:
Lola's Life Lessons:
Even cranks can come around with enough time and patience.
Always look for interesting stuff.
You can enjoy things more when you feel safe.
There are very few things a blanket and snuggle won't fix.
Baths may be evil, but it's nice to smell good.
If you beg you get more of what you want.
Don't think so much; just be present.
Always be on your best behavior for strangers.
If something smells good, dive right in.
Just because there's no way out, doesn't mean you shouldn't go in anyway.
The funnest things are the things you're not supposed to be doing.
Approach every day and every obstacle with a sense of fun and adventure.
Sometimes even the best of us just needs to nap.
Friends share troubles and heartaches.
If you're uncomfortable, DO something about it.
Never doubt your capacity to love and heal.
Don't be afraid when it's time to go; death is just a new adventure!

Thank you for the honor of being your human companion, Lola. You have been a wonderful teacher.

~Kristen

2007-04-16T15:12:00.000-05:00

I'm Married :)

Mike and I tied the knot this weekend. Don't worry, the wedding is still on for September. This was primarily for practical reasons such as health insurance and name-changing issues. I have to say, though, that it was just perfect and I'm so glad we did it. :) Our families were together for the first time, and really seemed to get along. All those who will be in the wedding party were there. We had a very short, small, intimate ceremony that was full of emotion and meaning without being fussy and stressful. It was amazing to have the opportunity to declare my devotion for my husband before those who love us most. It was beautiful and relaxed and fun!

My name will officially be changing. I'll take Mike's last name and add it to the end of mine, no hyphen. I will probably use his name socially, and use the full name professionally. Now I just have to change my driver's license, my social security card, bank account names, insurance names, the name listed for me with the University... I think getting married was the easy part!

Actually, that's one thing we both felt: "Wow, that was really easy." That's how the beginning of our married life together should begin. I'm so glad it has. :)

~Kristen

2007-03-30T22:55:00.000-05:00

Maybe I'm just feeling a bit punchy... but does this seem sort-of morbid to anyone else?

Irish Blessing (as found on a random website):
"May the light of heaven shine upon your grave."

I imagine the first portion (May through heaven) being said with a kind Irish accent, then switching to devil speak for the last portion, which is really just telling someone they're about to die. Is it funny if I have to explain it?

~K

PS: My version of our wedding website, and Mike's version. :) We'll consolidate later.

2007-03-28T14:10:00.000-05:00

I found this on a Facebook message board, and wanted to have some fun with it.

"You know you're a music major if..."

My answers:

... you phonetically analyze all foreign words
... you always drink tea
... you never drink milk
... you experiment with speaking without using glottal stops to see if it helps your voice last longer
... you have ever gone on vocal rest
... you call your doctor every time you almost feel like you could possibly be coming down with something that could eventually grow into a cold
... you laugh musically
... you never sing "Happy Birthday" without breaking into at least 3 part harmony
... you have ever sung "Happy Birthday" in minor, just for fun
... you have a LOT of black in your closet, but you're not goth
... "spin the sound" makes perfect sense to you
... you can name and sing along with the orchestral excerpts in techno songs
... you groan at the mention of John Williams
... you try to isolate the pitches emitted by your dishwasher
... you have ever used a piano to determine the note the elevator makes when it dings
... Pachelbel's Cannon in D makes you scream (and you find this absolutely hilarious)
... you always hear elevator music, and usually hate it
... you think that Mozart was dirty
... you are intimately familiar with the healing properties of eccenacia, throat coat tea, sinus rinsing, vitamin C drops, and breathing steamy air.

I'll probably think of more and post them for the rest of the day. This is fun!
~Kristen

2007-03-08T14:16:00.000-06:00

meh

I think I'll sleep.

2007-03-02T14:40:00.000-06:00

The Bible

I was talking with some friends the other day about religion, the bible and our relationship with God. It seems to happen anytime we get together and drink, which is a little strange I suppose. You may or may not know that I consider myself spiritual but not religious because of a very dark time during which I was very angry at the church and its patriarchy because of what some "Christians" did to me. I am worlds away from these particular friends, who struggle with living normal lives and not taking the bible literally, or at least figuring out which portions of the bible to take literally and which were just the result of the complex societal changes and pressures of each specific author as he was sitting wherever he was sitting while he was writing what he wrote. Yeah.

In any case, one friend was struggling because her church said that she should only hang out with people who believed just like she did, and used a bunch of quotes from the bible to prove it. To me, it sounds ridiculous. Apparently interpreting this particular biblical text is a source of stress for some people. In fact, trying to discern how Christians should live their lives according to the bible in general can be quite stressful.

This got me thinking. What does it mean to be a Christian? What does it mean when you go to church and they say homosexuals are going to hell, when you clearly know that they are loved by God just like everyone else? How much can you trust the bible, a book that has been used to justify nearly every system of repression, ethnic cleansing and other very un-Christian things? Do you really have to love the bible to be a Christian?

I think the answer is no. Well, of course I would, because I still loosely identify myself as Christian without loving the bible. However, I found a really good justification and explanation for my lack of biblical enthusiasm. Here it is: Christians follow Jesus. The things Jesus said and did are recorded in some portions of the bible. The rest is largely a collections of the opinions of some man who people agreed with when they sat around and decided what to include in their religious dogma. Therefore, you can love Jesus, learn about his life, and still not have to like the rest of what amounts to a giant Christian editorial.

Don't get me wrong, I think there are a lot of really great things in the bible. My fiance, who has read the bible at least 3 times cover to cover, says that the overall message is one of love and forgiveness (and since I haven't read it completely I will take his word on that). There are amazing songs and prose that capture many of the religious feelings Christians have had through the years. There are also stories and teachings of Jesus, which I think are absolutely relevant and important. That's all great.

What isn't great is that some people use the bible as THE ONLY WAY to be a Christian. They say that not only are their interpretations of the bible the only ones that are correct, but also that only the opinions of the men included in the bible are correct interpretations of Jesus' life and our intended relationship with God. To me, that's a lot like reading, for example, The Awakening, then reading a literary interpretation of The Awakening, and concluding that that interpretation is the ONLY way you can interpret the book itself.

If I read The Awakening, or any other book, I try to find my own meaning. Sometimes it's interesting to see what other people thought the birds represented, or the ocean, but sometimes a theme is apparent to me because of my views on life, my life experiences, or just my mood when I read it. Just because I find meaning on my own, and maybe no one ever though about it that way before (or at least didn't write it down) doesn't mean it is any less important, or a less valid reading the book.

Why can't the same apply to the bible? Why is some long-dead-man's opinion of what Jesus was all about more valid than mine? If Jesus told us that we can all have our own personal relationships with God, that we would have the power to perform miracles and move mountains if only we had enough faith, why can't we figure out what he and is teachings mean to us, and what makes sense to us? I'm not talking about moral relativism. Knowing that we don't know everything about God's plan is not the same as saying that clubbing babies could be ok in the right circumstances. I just don't think any one person, any one church, or even any one religion has a monopoly on the business of understanding God, and understanding what a Christian way of life looks like.

I believe that Jesus was a great man and a great teacher, and that if all who call themselves Christians tried to live more like him the world would be a better place. It's when we get wrapped up in dogma that directly conflicts with Jesus' life and teachings that things go wrong. Jesus' teaching was to love one another. No exceptions. If any church rule, or sermon, or letter from the pope conflicts with that teaching, then it's not Christian.

And that opinion is just as valid as any of those other biblical editorials. So there.

~kristen

2007-03-01T14:24:00.000-06:00

Tentative Date: September 7, 2007
Tentative Location: Overture Center

Very tentative. We'll take a tour of the Overture Center on Tuesday next week and look at the space. We both would love to have the reception there, and maybe even the ceremony, who knows!

Meanwhile, I'm working on class work and getting a client out of jail. And it's raining. All I really want to do is sleep. Sleeping sounds better than doing work.

And my sweet Lola's back legs are barely working anymore, poor dear.

It's a busy time, that much is for certain!
~Kristen

2007-02-26T16:33:00.000-06:00

BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!

Mike and I have officially decided to tie the knot! He proposed over dinner on Friday night, to my complete surprise (I knew it would happen sometime, but definitely wasn't looking for it!), at our favorite restaurant, Biaggi's. The ring is just beautiful, and we couldn't be more excited! We have not yet set a date. The hope is that we will have a short engagement and can plan a wedding with minimal fussiness and stress. The location will be Madison, which has been my home for 8 years, and where I met my fiancee, Mike, the love of my life.

The love of my life! Officially! And now the whole world will know!

If anyone has any tips for planning a wedding in general, or has connections in Madison to things like florists, bakers, photographers, banquet halls, etc, please let me know! I think we'll have a website to keep loved ones up to date with plans as they solidify. More on that if/when it goes up.

I learned after the proposal that he was hoping to have the ring in time for our get-away last weekend, but when the ring arrived on Friday afternoon, and I called him from work and said "Let's do something special tonight," he knew it was opportunity knocking and that he had to answer!

Oh, so sappy and cute, I'm sure I'm radiating a field that's lethal within 20 feet. One of these days my feet will touch the ground again.

~Kristen Z. (soon to be Kristen Z. B.!)

2007-02-23T08:57:00.000-06:00

A bunch has been going on in my life recently, and most have meant I was offline and unable to post. Not that I've taken a bunch of time to post even when I don't have convenient excuses, but still, I might as well use excuses while I can.

It all started with my birthday, which was on Sunday Feb. 18. I'm now 26 years old, in case you were wondering. I went away for the weekend with Mike to Country Springs Hotel and Waterpark. It's located about an hour east of Madison, near to Delafield and the smiley barn (or "Amish Barn", though it'll always be the smiley barn to me). It has an indoor waterpark. That seems to be a good investment for a hotel in Wisconsin, what with the ridiculous cold we have had this February. It was nice and warm, had some neat slides and a great indoor-outdoor hot tub. Unfortunately, it was also full of screaming children. We stayed for a few hours and retreated to our room.

It was a great weekend, despite screaming kids. We had dinner on Saturday night at a Chinese restaurant, I think it was called Emperor's Kitchen. It was FANTASTIC. Mike and I are spicy food freaks. Just to give you an idea, our chili recipe now consists of 5 jalapenos and 5 habinero peppers, and it's still not terribly painful. Well, the Chinese food was DEFINITELY painful. Painful in that good sort of "ok, so now I know my limit" way. It was also very tasty. I washed down my meal with some tasty plum wine, which was a really interesting beverage, while Mike had a Chinese beer. I don't know if it was Chinese style or actually from China. Apparently, some very Chinese things are made right here in Wisconsin, such as Kikkoman Soy Sauce. Who knew.

The hotel room was nice, especially the two sinks and the tv in the bathroom. I want two sinks and a tv in MY bathroom. For now I'll have to make do with dust bunnies and spiders.

Sunday we had a wonderful lunch with my parents, my bro and his gf. We at at the Water Street Brewery in Delafield. It's a very nice place, good food, great service. It was rather nostalgic, too. When I used to play in the Milwaukee Youth Symphony Orchestra (during my previous life as a musician), my family would go eat at the Water Street Brewery afterwards, sometimes with my oboe friend and her family. The restaurant in downtown Milwaukee is actually on Water Street, but the one in Delafield is still quite nice.

I got a couple fabulous birthday presents from my family. My brother gave me an adorable hedgehog rug that I absolutely love. My mom and dad gave me a really neat necklace and Guitar Hero II. If you've never played Guitar Hero, you probably should. It's very musical, which is part of the draw for me. I'm terrible at it right now, but just you wait...

And thus ended my weekend of fun. Just one excuse for not writing in my blog. More to come later. :)

~Kristen

2007-01-25T15:50:00.001-06:00

I'm 26 weeks from being a practicing lawyer.

Whoa.

2007-01-24T08:59:00.000-06:00

I got good grades last semester for the first time in Law School.

Wow.

I wonder if this will make it easier to find a job?
~Kristen

2007-01-21T19:58:00.000-06:00

And again, school begins. Tomorrow is my last first-day-of-the-semester. THANK GOD. I have no remorse, no sentimental stirrings as I approach this historic day. No, I am just ready to get the hell out of there. No more stupid grades.

I think that's what I hate about law school. The classes can be interesting. The people aren't bad, as long as you don't try to be friends with many of them. The professors are a bit batty, but harmless for the most part. I just hate grades. I hate the grading scale, I hate the scheme, I hate the game and I hate the impact they have on even getting interviews. I hate grades.

I have no idea what my grades are from last semester. None of them have been posted yet. Not a single one out of five classes. It sure is a good thing they don't expect law school professors to do any actual work. I mean, really.

I'll be working with the legal defense program this semester representing indigent defendants in misdemeanor criminal cases. I'm mostly doing this to prepare myself for working as a public defender in Madison until a more permanent position presents itself. The market for attorneys around here is very tight. Something about 300 law students graduating each year seems to flood the market. Who would have guessed?

On a more positive note, it was a very productive break for me. Mike and I painted his bedroom blue, and got a B E A U T I F U L bed (headboard, foot board, side rails) that Mike will have pictures of soon. I also finished the curtains for his place, and they are now in place. It's amazing. Mike has lived here for three years, and it FINALLY looks lived-in!

And now for the big news... Mike and I have officially decided to move in together when my lease expires in July. Since I only live .4 miles away, we plan on making it a very slow process, bit by bit, to avoid a heavy-duty, super stressful one-day event if at all possible. We have to make some adjustments to his condo before I can really live here, though. Maximization of closet space is a necessity, since I currently take up a huge, walk-in closet all on my own. We'll install some shelving in closets, rearrange stuff, etc over the course of the semester.

The best thing about moving in is that Mike is allowing me more freedom in making his condo Kristen-friendly. That doesn't mean I'm moving all his kitchen stuff to lower shelves (we talk about those not being Kristen-friendly a lot), but it does mean that Lola is staying over when I'm here. It really is so great to have my hedgehog with me wherever I am. She has a small enclosure in the living room that she seems to like well enough. She stays warm on her heating pad and feasts on turkey every night. She is currently on medication (an antacid and an antibiotic) to try to clear up some tummy trouble, and Mike is around every morning and night to help with the giving-Lola-medication process. It is quite a process. I think anytime you try to give oral medication to a creature who can completely disappear inside its own quill-covered skin... well, what other animal is really like that? Maybe an armadillo... In any case, she's very good at not taking her medication. It really does take two of us to force it down.

It has been a wonderful break, full of days where I've slept for 14 hours and read fantasy novels for at least 6, and days playing silly video games starring a purple dragon. I've watched Dune, the extended version of Return of the King, 14 hours of season one of "24", the original Conan, and countless Daily Shows and Colbert Reports. It has been just great. I'm loathe to return to the real world. Oh well. There's always unemployment and retirement to look forward to.

~Kristen

2006-12-12T13:45:00.000-06:00

Studying usually sucks, but it especially sucks when you have to read, over and over again, about horrible cruelty to animals. I guess that is the one downside to taking an Animal Law class. People don't go to court over how nice people are to their pets. Here are some of my one-line summaries for cases, just to get an idea of how depressing it is:

Shot neigbor's cat
Shot dogs from tree-stand
Dog hoarders
Microwaved cats
Beat dog with Bat
Shot horses eating fruit from trees
200 poodles seized
92 cats in a 7x11 foot trailer
Dog died in cargo hold, lots of blood
Garbage man killed dog

It's just so hard to push myself to do more...

But hey! I'm done with the semester in a week and a day! I'll just have to keep on keeping on.
~Kz

2006-11-30T15:57:00.000-06:00

... And Now It's Cold

It was 50 degrees warmer yesterday. Isn't that the way of things?

I had a lovely Thanksgiving with Mike and his family in Minnesota. We at a lot, played some video games (yay Super Smash Brothers melee!), and spent a lot of time playing the Moonlight Sonata at their baby grand piano. It was just lovely. :) It would have been perfect if I could have spent time with my family as well, but they have to be so difficult and insist upon living 6 hours away. I spent time with them the weekend before, will see them this weekend again, and will be able to "get away" with them over New Years. It's such a great time; I'm already looking forward to it.

Now, back to school. Like the weather, things went from calm and pleasant (if rainy) to crappy really quick. I'm heads-down working for the next month or so. The first big thing is my mock trial this weekend. I'm one of the prosecutors. Excellent. Next are exams and a 30-page paper.

Tonight I'll be at school for a long while. I have class now, then have a break for dinner and to prepare for the final pretrial, where I need to present motions in limine (stuff I want the judge to rule to keep out of trial on Saturday). The pretrial last night went from 7 to after 9. The last bus from downtown is at 9:15, getting in at 9:30 or so. At least I get to sleep in tomorrow. I should also check and make sure my suit is ready to go Saturday morning.

I might give up on trying to lose weight for the time being. Maybe I'll just try to maintain until after exams. I only gained 2 lbs over Thanksgiving, which is miraculous considering how much pie and ice cream I ate. Mmmm pie. Stress makes me crave sweets like CRAZY.

Ok, back to surfing the web. I'm done with my assignments for this class, so I'm just biding my time until I can get out and go eat. Cheers!

~Kristen Z.

2006-10-27T17:37:00.000-05:00

My boyfriend was in the newspaper!! Look, here he is holding up a pumpkin that he just carved underwater! He's so cute!

~Kz

2006-10-25T14:54:00.000-05:00

Animal Law Heartaches

Ok, so the title might be a bit melodramatic. That's just my style.

I'm taking a course called "Animal Law" this semester. This is a class that examines the different ways animals and the law meet, what case history tells us and what trends we're seeing. It is not an animal rights class. It is a class about human's rights to own, care for, love and yes, kill, animals. It is a class about who may recover and for how much when an animal is treated unjustly, and what unjust treatment entails. It's not always a pleasant case. One of the most stomach-churning cases involved pet cats and a common, cube-shaped kitchen appliance, and a vindictive boyfriend. No more need be said.

Surprisingly, I didn't have a hard time with that case, nor the other animal cruelty cases. I didn't have a hard time reading about how almost 200 innocent pit bulls were killed in Denver when the pit bull ban went back into effect. Even reading about starving livestock was tolerable. Being in animal rescue, I've heard of it all before. I've already cried about it and tried my tears. I already know that humanity is capable of such things.

It surprised me all the more when I had trouble with our last assignment. The section we're dealing with now is animals involved in trots. In one case, a dog owner kenneled her dog, returned two weeks later to learn they had lost her dog. They blew her off, ridiculed her, dodged her questions and were overall very unprofessional in their handling of the situation. Here's the part that made my heart sink into my stomach:

The court rules, "No reasonably prudent person would have realized that the kennel's conduct in failing to take steps to search thoroughly for the plaintiff's dog; failing to show caring and compassion for the plaintiff's loss and treating her callously; treating the plaintiff rudely with anger; and not contacting the plaintiff until 8 days after the loss of the dog, would have involved an unreasonable risk of causing emotional distress and that that distress, if it were caused, might result in illness or bodily injury."

Rees v. Flaherty, 2003 Conn. Super. LEXIS 289 (Feb. 6, 2003). If you're like me, you don't need me to explain why I find this so shocking and disheartening. If you can't see it by reading it, you may not understand even if I were to explain.

It's one thing to get funny looks when I talk about my hedgehogs. It's understandable that many people do not know what animal law is or why it's important. I also understand that the law offers scarce protection for animal companions when something bad happens to them, since most of the law views animals as mere property, worth only what they could fetch on the open market. But to hear from the judiciary that emotional distress suffered at the loss of a loved friend is unreasonable... that just stings in an unexpectedly painful way.

~Kristen

2006-10-18T09:06:00.000-05:00

Grant Hendrickson Rocks!

Ok, guys, here's the story. Once I was a voice major in undergrad at UW Madison. There came a new voice student named Grant Hendrickson, who was hilarious and nice and in the marching band and lived in my dorm. He started out really nervous, but by the end of his time in school he was singing in the operas like a pro. Then I graduated and lost track of him.

Until today.

Turns out he has his own spiffy website, which reports he's living out in LA trying to work his way into the music scene. The website also has links to his music. It's so awesome. You really need to check it out.

Not only is this guy living the dream, but he is such a thoroughly good person. If anyone deserves good things in life, it's this guy. I don't know about you, but I'm going to go download his music on iTunes so I can jam to it all the time. :)

I hope you enjoy it as much as I do!
~Kristen

2006-10-04T16:26:00.000-05:00

I've changed my website to include more pink in commeration of Breast Cancer Awareness. Please do what you can to help find better treatments and cures for this disease. If you're one of the few who don't know someone who has been affected, you probably will sooner than you'd like.

If you go to www.breastcancerawareness.com they list many ways you can help. One of my favorites is through the Breast Cancer Site, where you can click every day for free to help provide mammograms to women who are in need. I also click on all the other sites there as well.

If you're a woman, check yourself every month, and get mammograms regularly. If you're not a woman, make sure the important women in your life check themselves every month and get mammograms regularly. Breast cancer that is caught early has a five year survival rate of 97%.

Hugs,
Kz

2006-10-04T16:21:00.000-05:00

You know you're going to have a rough day when, instead of bringing the gladware of spaghetti and meatballs, you bring the gladware of canned pumpkin.

~Kristen

2006-09-18T15:25:00.000-05:00

Some Stuff

1. Lola won a photo contest. She'll be featured as Miss May in an upcoming calendar filled with pictures of, you guessed it, hedgehogs. I love my hedgehog calendar. :) If you're interested in having one of your own, drop me a line and I'll make sure you get info when it becomes available.

2. SCUBA class is going well. I have my first pool session tonight. I think that means I get to breathe underwater. :) It is my understanding that the only down-side to learning to SCUBA is that you forget you can't breathe underwater while doing regular swimming, which is really embarrassing to explain to the people trying to save you from drowning. I'm looking forward to being certified so I can do fun things like dive around ship wrecks (we have more in our area than in any other part of the world!) and carve pumpkins underwater. That's an actual event. I'm thinking of carving mine as Strong Sad.

3. School is freaking insane. My schedule is a little ridiculous this semester. I have no idea how I'm going to keep my head above water.

4. Yoda is trying to get better, but so far no big improvement. He was on antibiotics for a month for his ear infection with no improvement, and is now on anti-inflammatories and steroid ear-drops. He's still tipping over regularly, poor guy, but seems to be happy otherwise.

And that's it!
kz

2006-09-05T23:17:00.000-05:00

I'm still working on the guitar, but have halted the quilting, at least for now. I should really just put together the front so I at least have something nice to look at, even if it takes forever to finish. Alas, it is not at the top of my list of priorities.

I replaced two strings on the guitar today, and finally realized that the reason I can't feel the fingertips of my left hand's fingers is because of the calluses I've grown from where my fingers hit the strings. Whew! I was not looking forward to another musical endeavor ending in physical injury. (if you're counting, singing lost to acid reflux, and flute gave me back problems)

I can play Brahms Lullaby. :)

School has started again. Dammit. It just makes me feel so inadequate. I had Litigation in Criminal Cases, taught by a self-professed defense-loving lawyer. I had taken the class to look into being an assistant district attorney, but I think I'll probably get most of the information from the other viewpoint somehow...

I have Immigration Law, Evidence and Animal Law tomorrow. SCUBA class doesn't start until next Thursday. I also worked my first day at ABC for Health, which was interesting, though I didn't have enough to do by the end of the day. I am certain they won't have nearly the problems with keeping me busy as have previous employers. At least, I hope they don't.

Alas, it is time for bed. No class until 1:20, but I need to get on a reasonable schedule...

Goodnight,
kz

2006-08-30T23:28:00.000-05:00

I am currently teaching myself guitar and quilting. In a week, we'll see which I'm better at. Right now, I can't feel the finger tips on my left hand, and I hear the sewing machine's rhythmic whirring in my head. Maybe I need another hobby.

~K

2006-08-24T11:01:00.000-05:00

Just in case you were wondering, hail falling on a skylight at 2am sounds a lot like dropping marbles into a bucket.

~Kristen

2006-08-03T13:50:00.000-05:00

It's still hot:

I sat outside for lunch today, enjoying the relative coolness after such scorching heat this week. By the end of 45 minutes I was quite toasty and ready to return to my cave of an office. After returning, I started to notice that my left shin was itchy. I looked down to see what was the matter when I noticed something strange about my shoes. It took me a minute to realize the shiny flower-bow-things were gone! Completely missing! I took a closer look and saw there were patches of exposed hot glue where the flowers should have been. It didn't take me long to figure out what had happened.

Sure enough, I walked back outside to where I had been sitting for lunch, and there under the bench was a flower. The other was sitting on the floor of my office.

So, now I can say that the weather is so hot that it melted my shoes.

(I then looked at my leg again to see what was so itchy, since I had been completely distracted by the shoe incident, to find teensy tiny cuts. Who knows what they're from. I'm pretty sure I can't blame the sun for that one.)

2006-07-27T18:20:00.000-05:00

Here's a link to my picture from the Wisconsin State Journal. It's a really interesting gallery of pictures from around the city to go along with their article.

Here is a link to a gallery from the Capital Times

2006-07-27T15:17:00.000-05:00

Holy Effing Flood

I think the world is ending. War all over the place, super viruses, and now this weather.

Holy shit guys, what a flood.

Sorry, I don't like to swear on my blog, but I can't say it any other way. Chalk it up to my lack of creativity when totally blown away.

I'm not going to post all the pictures here, but I thought I'd share a radar snap-shot of the area a few hours after the worst of the flooding. There were reports of 3 inches of rain falling in 20 minutes. And it just keeps raining, though it's only a drizzle here at this point.

I was stuck at an intersection for over a half hour because in every direction was water so deep that I was afraid my car was going to get stuck. You could see cars driving by on my relatively shallow strip of road with their engines smoking because they had gotten wet. There were a couple of cars with headlights partially underwater. I really shouldn't have left my house, but it flooded so much in the 15-20 minutes I went in my house to get my hedgehogs! I had no idea! The sidewalk had started to flood, but I had no idea it would be that bad! It looks like the worst in the immediate area was on the street I was trying to drive to.

I eventually turned around and drove on E. Gorham around the block to get to my house again, which took more than a half an hour because traffic was literally at a stand-still. By the time I got back, the sidewalk wasn't flooded anymore and I felt safe parking in front of my house.

Since I couldn't go anywhere, I got my camera and video recorder and walked around documenting what was going on. By the time I was out there the water had receded at least two inches, and by the end it was down at least 8. It was down 8 inches, meaning it was far more than 8 inches deep.

See my pictures at Mike's Gallery. You have to click on Kristen's album and then Flood July 27, 2006. The pictures should be up shortly (they take a very long time to load, since they're a higher quality than I normally take).

~K

2006-07-23T11:50:00.000-05:00

Is this love? Or is it indigestion?

I think this would make a good song. I bet someone has already written it. If not maybe I will. I've always meant to write music. I bet I could if I could get used to putting together chords and whatnot. I'd probably write totally cheezy music, but hey, it's music. :)

Ok, packing.
~Kristen

2006-07-20T09:31:00.000-05:00

As a follow up, while I was enjoying the intense storm last night, a tree fell on my car.

More details to follow.
~kz

2006-07-20T02:57:00.000-05:00

Holy Crap

I'm glad I'm on less knock-me-out medication so I could wake up for this and close my windows! (thought not before my kitchen floor got soaked, again). The lightning is so frequent that you can pretty much see by it. The winds are incredible. They literally remind me of hurricane footage. I look out my window and see all the huge trees on my street and around my house being blown about in a strange dance and think what nasty projectiles they would make.

Enjoy the footage. I'm glad my hedgies didn't get blown away.

~Kristen Z.

2006-07-18T09:17:00.000-05:00

I wish I had a magic "reset" button. There are so many problems in the world that would be so easily solved if humanity weren't always stuck in a cycle of resentment, retribution and historic hatred. We could solve problems regarding race relations in the US. We could balance the budget and rid ourselves of the national debt. We could decide for ourselves what gender and individual roles in society and family would be.

The reason I think of this magic button is because of the current crisis in the Middle East. Another crisis. Again. It never changes, and it never gets any closer to being resolved. How can it? The major religions of the world are fighting over the same spots of "holy land." There aren't political-party problems a la US, there are TRIBAL conflicts, dating back thousands of years. I imagine it would be as hard to solve these conflicts as it would have been to stop Rome from being burned.

People from this region of the globe seem to be hard-wired to hate one another, and to have a sense of entitlement to the holy land of his or her ethnic group. As each generation matures, they are taught these same messages of hate and entitlement. While many of our problems in this country are solved by the old generations dying off, that's not the case for those in the Middle East, or at least not to the same extent.

So, what would happen if we had a moon base, or if we colonized Mars, and sent huge segments of the population off the planet. Would they still fight? Would they still hate one another?

Maybe this whole global warming thing isn't so bad. If we wreck our planet, at least humanity could have a fresh start. Maybe.

~Kristen

2006-07-03T20:29:00.000-05:00

Drunk Driving and Cell Phones?

So, a new study says that people driving while talking on cell phones drive as poorly as drunk drivers. The study found that chatting drivers, whether on hand-held phones or on hands-free, have slower reaction times and are as inattentive as drunks.

Where do I even begin.

Let's look closely at this study. The study was conducted with 40 participants. I'm no psychologist, but I do know about something called "sample size" and that it's important. If I were a psych major, I'd have to do a study with more than 40 participants for my degree. Heck, even business majors and sociology majors do larger studies. The idea is that you can't get a good idea of trends and patterns if your study is too small. Think about pharmaceutical drug testing. Would you take a drug that did absolutely no harm to 40 people?

There is too much we don't know about these 40 people. Were they all men, or all women? Did they regularly talk on cell phones or was this their first time trying to drive (via simulator - and who knows how good a simulator they used) while chatting? How old were these people? Did they represent different socio-economic or racial groups? How much education had they attained? Did they all have a full night's sleep before the test?

And what about the nature of driving while talking on a phone. Could it possibly be that we are not equally skilled at driving? Could some people be better at talking on the phone and driving than others? Do we get better at it with time? Is it innate or a learned skill?

I don't know the answers to these questions. They are certainly worth asking. I would have hoped these questions would be addressed before the media splashed "Cell Phone Users Worse Than Drunks" all over the headlines.

Ugh.
~Kz

2006-06-27T21:03:00.000-05:00

Let's all make an icon!

I made an icon of me holding a hedgehog. No, not a hamster. A hedgehog. A very calm hedgehog with furry quills. Shut up.

Here's the link.

2006-06-10T20:34:00.000-05:00

I'm still alive, but doing more off the computer these days than on. :)

So, I've reached some good milestones:

Total weight loss since December 13 = 25lbs
I can run 1 mile in about 9 minutes and 2 in about 22

I've also passed two years in law school, and have worked at my summer job at the Dane County Child Support Agency for three weeks.

There! My life by the numbers!

2006-05-11T10:18:00.000-05:00

A Whimsical Blog

I need to write a blog to warm my brain up for the research I'm about to resume as to what constitutes a "state" action when you're looking for equal protections violations, and whether or not a sexual assault could be a violation of equal protection. It's a really twisted issue, and could very well be one of those questions that isn't in any precedent because it's just too dumb. It's really true, though - the hypothetical questions we address in classes and on exams are never as strange as real life.

Regardless of the legal research I am or am not doing right now, I want to write a blog. A good friend of mine (ok, my boyfriend Mike) was reading my old blogs and thought some of the ones I wrote early in my blogging were really funny. I don't really blog like that anymore. I've become issue-laden, both with personal "issues" and with political issues. All the time, this serious stuff.

Part of the reason my writing has changed is because law school is really good at squishing the life and personality out of your writing. I've gone from thinking in poetry to thinking in bullet points. I have found myself writing the normal e-mails to people and finishing them with a three sentence summary of my main points. Clarity and precision, as few words as possible, topic sentence for each paragraph. Like I said, it squishes the personality and charm out of my writing really quickly.

Although writing bullet pointed e-mails to boys is very effective. I think maybe they always work in bullet points. Men are like waffles, women are like spaghetti. (Gosh I wonder what ever happened to Cara Sawyer! Does anyone know?)

So, whimsical writing. Yep. I can do that. I bet I could even make a bullet-pointed list about how to go about writing whimsically.

Wait. Ugh.

~kz

2006-05-10T14:25:00.000-05:00

What is Scarier?

There's been a lot of talk about rape these days. There's a scandal going on at the University of Wisconsin because of their procedures in investigating sexual assault claims by students. It brings up the arguments that are brought up in every sexual assault case it seems: it's not right to re-victimize the victim, but we need to protect the accused from false charges of rape when there is no evidence.

I have to say, I disagree with the rationale of that argument, not because I like the idea of false charges, but because if I need to decide between the dangers and costs to society of incidences of falsely charged men and the dangers and costs of raped women who have no justice, I'll choose the falsely charged men.

What benefit is there to drawing the line of when we'll convict people and when we won't just far enough past where men can be held accountable to protect them all while leaving women who have been victimized physically and emotionally out in the cold because there is no proof? Sure, innocence until proven guilty, I'm ok with that. But what is evidence? Can the damage to the woman be evidence, or does it have to be eye-witness testimony, screams heard by neighbors and DNA? What about women who are coerced into sex who suffer mentally, who lose their jobs, run up high medical and psychological care bills, are disowned by their family and face disbelief and dismissal by society? Is that so much better than what a man faces when he's accused of sexual assault?

People say that the laws that protect the sexuality and identity of an accuser are unfair to men who want to defend themselves. I say tripping over ourselves to protect the reputation of men while leaving women victims to fend for themselves is a sad statement of who society values more.

2006-05-10T09:23:00.000-05:00

What a Week!

Sunday was my last exam. YAY!! I've been sleeping, on average, 5 hours per night MORE than I slept for the last two weeks. Plus naps.

Monday I had a trial. By "had" I mean I was the attorney for the defendant in a small claims trial. A real trial, with a commissioner and a plaintiff asking for money. The commissioner called me "council"! It was a tremendous experience, and I learned a lot from it. Plus, I won, which is never bad. :) I won my first trial!!

Also, as of today, I have lost 20 lbs, which is 10% of my initial weight. I lost 20 lbs this semester. That's a huge deal. I am so very proud of myself, and thankful to those around me who supported me in this. I feel so great!

So, it's a good week. I have to put in some more hours at the DOJ before Friday, but that's it. Now it's just take-care-of-me time until work starts the week of the 23rd of May.

Hope you're doing well too!
~Kzo

2006-05-06T14:57:00.000-05:00

I can't think of much that I want to do less than take this exam tomorrow. Well, the taking of the exam isn't so terrible. It's more the preparing for the exam today. Wouldn't have been so bad if I had started, say, yesterday. Oh well.

~Kz

2006-05-06T10:27:00.000-05:00

Chicks are cute, and peeps are awesome. This is a double-whammy.

2006-05-03T20:38:00.000-05:00

Moussaoui will Die in Jail:

I think it's very interesting that Moussaoui has been sentenced to life in prison rather than death.

I have a somewhat different view of the death penalty than most, so I'll explain that before explaining what I find interesting about the decision. To me, death isn't a bad thing. It happens to all of us, and my personal beliefs of faith are that death isn't the end, and that death isn't bad. I believe very important things happen after our deaths, and that these things are not punishment, even to the most evil people. Therefore, to me, death is not a punishment.

I don't generally support the death penalty. It's used very unjustly in far too many cases. I do understand, however, a viewpoint that says if a person is just too wrong, too evil and dangerous to exist in our society, that death could be the most humane thing we could do for them, rather than keeping them in a cage for 50 years.

I do think that life in prison is a greater punishment than death. As such, I'm glad to see Moussaoui rot in jail. I have heard he said the verdict meant he won, but I think he probably would have said that regardless of the verdict. He's mean like that. I think the verdict could be seen as a statement to the world that we are not like the evil people who flew planes into buildings. As a nation of primarily Christians, I think it is noble to "turn the other cheek" in a highly publicized trial. The decision espouses the ideals that most Americans claim to hold and defend.

Of course, this is just one verdict, decided on the facts of the case and not the ideals of a nation. The jurors were not spokespersons for our nations morals or religious convictions. Still, knowing these Americans could look at the facts in a highly inflammatory case - where Christians cried for blood and the government sought to use Moussaoui as a focus for our rage - gives me hope.

(nice post, huh? can you tell i should be studying?)

2006-04-29T01:39:00.000-05:00

Someone just peed of the side of my neighbor's house onto our shared driveway. I'm too old to live by stupid people who invite guests who pee off the sides of buildings. I called the police. Stupid assholes.

2006-04-25T16:07:00.000-05:00

What I found in my eye:

A piece of what looks like bark that is big enough to cover the letter "to" in 12 point font printed. Seems small until you actually look at a piece of paper with the word "to" and think of how huge that is compared to an eyelash, which is really the only other thing that accidentally gets into your eye. It actually scratched my eyeball enough to make it bleed a little! SO GROSS!

And I don't think I have mumps. If I get a high fever or a distended-looking neck I'll go to the doctor.

~K

2006-04-25T10:28:00.000-05:00

How do you tell the difference between a cold, a migraine and Mumps? A blood test, I'm guessing, but how do you know when to run to the doctor? I don't want to be one of those "omg, i have teh mumps!!1!" people, but my neck feels like it's swelling, my head and face hurt and my body kinda aches. I felt totally crappy yesterday from mid-afternoon on, but thought it was a migraine. Three days in a row is definitely not normal for me, and there doesn't seem to be particularly low pressure or other normal triggers. I guess my ovaries could be swelling or something, but how the heck do you figure that out on your own?? Technically, I'm not supposed to go to work or school if I have mumps, but again, how the heck am I supposed to tell? I'll just go home and take a nap. If when I wake up my neck has trippled in size, I'll go to the doctor. That seems reasonable.

~K

2006-04-24T18:36:00.000-05:00

Here's an article I just received from Planned Parenthood and I wanted to share it on my blog. This is
very important. Sixty million dollars in government grants going to groups that push their agenda through fear, intimidation, lies and breach of confidence is NOT something I can let happen. I hope you feel the same way, and you let your Congressmen and women know it! Helping the world in the time it takes to play a game of free cell is not asking that much, right? ;)

Here's the article:

An Indiana mother recently accompanied her daughter and her daughter's boyfriend to one of Indiana's Planned Parenthood clinics, but they unwittingly walked into a so-called "crisis pregnancy center" run by an anti-abortion group, one that shared a parking lot with the real Planned Parenthood clinic and was designed expressly to lure Planned Parenthood patients and deceive them.

The group took down the girl's confidential personal information and told her to come back for her appointment, which they said would be in their "other office" (the real Planned Parenthood office nearby). When she arrived for her appointment, not only did the Planned Parenthood staff have no record of her, but the police were there. The "crisis pregnancy center" had called them, claiming that a minor was being forced to have an abortion against her will.

The "crisis pregnancy center" staff then proceeded to wage a campaign of intimidation and harassment over the following days, showing up at the girl's home and calling her father's workplace. Our clinic director reports that the girl was "scared to death to leave her house." They even went to her school and urged classmates to pressure her not to have an abortion.

The anti-choice movement is setting up these "crisis pregnancy centers" across the country. Some of them have neutral-sounding names and run ads that falsely promise the full range of reproductive health services, but they dispense anti-choice propaganda and intimidation instead. And according to a recent article in The New York Times, there are currently more of these centers in the U.S. than there are actual abortion providers.
What's more, these centers have received $60 million in government grants. They're being funded by our tax dollars.

A bill has just been introduced in Congress to stop the fraudulent practices of fake clinics, but it desperately needs more support. Tell your representative to take a stand:
anti-choice extremists must not get away with this any longer!
Go to:
http://www.ppaction.org/campaign/clinics

2006-04-14T18:25:00.000-05:00

Bigots suck.

Apparently, the Pope is a bigot.

If he is a bigot, he sucks. Jesus said to love one another, not just those who have heterosexual, monogomous, only-after-marriage sex. Did I miss the part where we can tell people they are in league with Satan and will burn in hell?

Kz

2006-04-14T07:43:00.000-05:00

Just as an FYI, I AM feeling better about things. My side-effects are under control, school isn't QUITE so stressful, and all my hedgehogs are alive and well. Sometimes that's all I need.

I just wanted to take a minute to say that I HAVE GOTTEN SO MUCH SMALLER!!! I had to go digging through the basement this morning to find not-sloppy-looking hot-weather cloths to wear to work because my "summer" box is all way too big! I'm easily fitting into stuff I last could wear two years ago. Man, it feels awesome! HOORAY for Weight Watchers!!

And thank you, Nathan, for your call. I was out having a good time. :) I might try to transcribe your message to save it for future hilarity. It was an awesome message, good job!!

Kz

2006-04-11T22:42:00.000-05:00

Today's one of those days where I can't really tell if I'm down because of upsetting things or if things are upsetting because I'm down. Am I just feeling depressed and looking for reasons, or are there things going on that are adding up to me feeling depressed in general?

It's hard when you can't trust yourself. I'm in the midst of a time where I'm feeling particularly distrustful. A week and a half ago I had a five day migraine, apparently because of a change in brand of a generic drug I was taking. All of a sudden I've gone from having all my health issues addressed by proper medication to throwing it all up in the air again. Now I'm having to deal with the uncomfortable and sometimes distressing side-effects all over again, and it makes my life feel like a mess. It's really hard to feel like your life is in control when you can't trust that your body will let you accomplish the things you need to accomplish to survive, like go to work, focus in class, wake up in the morning.

I don't know if school seems stressful because of my medication issues, or if I'm having more issues because school is becoming increasingly stressful. I'm behind in my classes, partially because of the school I missed because of medication issues. I feel like things are moving ahead too fast for me to catch up, especially considering that my health seems so unpredictable.

Good news today was that we'll be able to use laptops to type our exams for the first time this semester. I don't know why I'm not thrilled about it, except that I was counting on everyone having to take written exams. Sometimes no matter if the change is good or bad, it's still terribly difficult to be happy about.

Another bit of good news is that I'm getting to be in pretty good shape. I ran 2 miles tonight in 23 minutes, which is much faster than I've been able to run for a long time. It's frustrating to have to run so far from my house, though. I'm always worried that I'll get 3 miles away and then realize I can't walk another step; that's why I carry my student id and bus pass in my sports bra. And while running faster feels good, it is rather frustrating to plan out new routes and calculate miles jogged. Eventually I'll have time to hack out a new general path that will let me run a short, medium or long run and know how far I've traveled.

It IS good that I'm in such better shape than I've been for a while. I enjoy feeling more muscle-y. My quads are ridiculously and intensely muscular (while still blending in with my pleasantly soft and squishy hamstrings), and I'm very proud to actually have an arm muscle that stands up to the flex-and-squeeze test. That test, of course, is where you flex your muscle for someone else to see, they take a look and then squeeze the muscle to see how big it is, and they're like WOW, that IS a muscle. Well, that's how it works in my head anyway.

The hedgehogs are doing well. Yoda seems to still be doing ok, and even had a bit of a living room adventure while I was jogging. Silly me, assuming he'd stay in one place on the futon while I was out! I found him hiding in a corner, which makes me wonder if Lola was bullying him around. Lola was funny tonight, too; she chewed on and anointed with my hair for the first time in ages. It's very amusing to be laying on the floor and all of a sudden feel a hedgehog burrowing into your scalp. She was kindly gentle with her chewing, and didn't try to dislodge the hair from my scalp.

Since tonight was a generally depressing waste of time, I've decided to end it by going to bed early. Maybe I'll even sleep late. There's nothing I won't do to completely spoil myself when feeling glum!

Cheers,
Kz

2006-04-08T14:50:00.000-05:00

Cute Overload makes me SO HAPPY!!

AHHHHH!!! I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!!

2006-04-06T21:01:00.000-05:00

Some pictures of my now-doing-much-better Yoda and me. :)

2006-04-06T20:58:00.000-05:00

Well, Yoda's doing much better. He can walk much better, even to the point that he can do his beloved pivots-in-a-circle. He was bright-eyed and energetic this afternoon when I visited him during a break in my classes. I was floored.

I also wanted to put a little post out there about Yelp. It's very interesting, and picks out good places that I enjoy. Thanks to Nathan for pointing this site out in his blog. As always, Nathan, you rock.

Back to studying!
~kz

2006-04-05T21:42:00.000-05:00

I WANT ONE

In other news, things are mostly good, but Yoda has taken a turn for the worse. His mobility is declining. I suspect at some point in the next two weeks I will have to make the difficult decision to have him put to sleep. It's never easy, not even when I could see it coming.

I'm trying to keep myself busy, or at least in touch with others. Feel free to drop me a line to distract me.

kz

2006-03-28T02:10:00.000-06:00

Ha! I'm done with my Constitutional Law II paper!! HA!! HAAAA HAAAA HAAAA!

As Mike would say, "You EAT that!!"

2006-03-21T10:28:00.000-06:00

Yesterday I bought a purple bunny-peep. It's very soft and squishy. It is good.

2006-03-15T22:48:00.000-06:00

Boom

Explosives are inherently interesting. Steubenville is also less than ten miles from where my parents grew up and most of my extended family still lives. Check it out. And you thought YOU lived in the middle of nowhere.

2006-03-14T22:08:00.000-06:00

My More-Than-Interesting-Enough Day

Yesterday I had an overly interesting day. It made me yearn for a boring day. Today didn't quite live up to my boring aspirations, but I'm hopeful that I will find more success in that vein this week.

So, what made yesterday so interesting? I'll give you the short version:

1. I wasn't planning to, but I stopped at my apartment yesterday morning before going in to work at the DOJ. Standing in the middle of the floor of my living room, with the bright sun shining in at 9 am, was Lola, clearly very upset. She had gotten snagged in a scarf I use as decoration and was tethered to the spot with a string around her neck. She didn't appear to have any injuries, but if I had gone to work as I had planned that would probably not have been the case.

2. Trials aren't normally that interesting. Trials about a doctor accidentally pulling out the wrong tube in surgery and the patient bleeding out through a hole the size of a nickel in his heart aren't even necessarily that interesting. What WAS interesting is that a juror passed out during the opening statement (they showed a picture of the heart during autopsy) and had to be taken to the hospital for stashes.

3. I got to meet a very FAT hedgehog yesterday. His name is Houdini, which is a great name. I'll be helping him find a new home due to his owner's terrible allergies (I watched the hives swell myself). Even I had a reaction to him; little angry red bumps appeared on my palms from where his quills had barely pricked my skin. This resulted in my taking some sudafed, which leads to my next interesting moment.

4. Getting into tiffs with friends is also not generally interesting. They become more interesting when they erupt from discussions about politics and escalate because I was hopped up on anti-histamines. It's hard not to feel upset with your heart beating 150 times a minute.

5. Finally, after a dramatic day, I'm driving home to see my hedgehogs and go to sleep when I come across a bridge. It had always been there, but I had never thought much about the fact that it was a bridge at all. Yesterday I remembered it was a bridge. It was misty and foggy all day, and the ground was a bit damp. No biggie. Sometime during my hyped-up evening it had gotten colder. Can you see where this is going? When I arrived at the bridge I was probably going 30mph, which is under the speed limit (it's a hill, that at least was in my favor). It did not take me long to realize that the bridge was no longer pavement, but rather a beautiful, smooth, black sheet of solid ice. The two cars in front of me spinning out, the pickup truck veering into oncoming traffic and the station wagon in the ditch confirmed my realization. Fortunately I was able to gently glide across the road, gracefully avoiding both the guard rail and the other disabled cars.

Yeah, and that was the short version.
~K

2006-03-01T23:17:00.000-06:00

I like pictures:

I like pictures. Here are some pictures for you to like, too.

This is a picture of the CN Tower in Toronto, Ontario. I visited it on February 12th when my parents surprised me by flying with me to Toronto. I literally didn't know where we were going until I got to the gate. I hadn't been to Toronto since I was in middle school, or maybe even elementary school, but it had remained one of my favorite big cities. I love the diversity of culture, or maybe just the culture that's so very different from my own. I'm also partial to all the French.

This is a picture of my family from when we visited Door County, Wisconsin on New Year's. It was a very calm time. We stayed in a big cabin, complete with baby grand piano (out of tune, though) and a kitchen with all the perks. I spent most of the time playing Diablo II, which was excellent. We visited a state park with lots of caves. It may be named something clever like Cave Park. Lake Michigan was in fine form, gray and angry, splashing with a hollow gurgling over the rocks. We took some really nice pictures, but unfortunately we don't have any of the four of us. But don't Mom, Dad and Chad look nice?

Now, to bed. I have successfully accomplished nothing academic in almost a week. I'll have an early morning!

K

2006-03-01T19:57:00.000-06:00

A letter to my Aunt:

I wrote a really long letter to an aunt, and I decided that it's a good summary of what I've been up to lately. I hope she doesn't mind that I share!

Here it goes:

Hi Aunt Nancy!

Well, it probably says something about our lives right now that we're both so late... you in sending it and me in reading it! Yep, just read it now!

Thanks for the card. :) It is very nice, and I'm very lucky to be so loved by my family. :) Isn't it cool, being able to send video cards? I mean, would you have thought you'd be able to do that someday? Personally, I'm looking forward to the neural implants that I'm sure my kids will have some day. THAT will make me feel old!

Things are going well in my neck of the woods. School is a lot of work, but I'm really into it, enjoying it and learning a ton. I'm a weeeee bit behind right now, oops, but spring break is just around the bend, and that's a great time to play catch-up.

The hedgehogs are doing well, all three of them now. Lola's been with me for over a year now. Heddie is still fat and still doesn't trust me, but she'll come around. I've had her since Thanksgiving. Yoda, who came to live with me in October and is 4 years old (that's about 64 in human years), went to the vet this week for dizziness and was diagnosed with ear infections. Poor baby! I think he's had them for a long while, because he seems more active and energetic and comfortable than he's been ever! He's a real sweet hedgehog... the only one of the bunch that comes out when I talk to him so he can be pet and cuddled. Lola only comes out for mealworms, and Heddie doesn't come out unless she's forced to. It's nice to have one cuddly one around!

I'm still dating Mike, the plasma physicist grad/doctoral student. He's just wonderful, Aunt Nancy! All of the ugliness I went through and he was there for me, and whenever stuff comes up now (I'm mostly really good, but there are still some feelings that come out of nowhere from all that stuff) he's so supportive and caring. He's a fantastic dancer, and we've been enjoying going to more ballroom dances on campus this semester. We've been trying to help one another stick to good eating habbits and exercise (though I just ate a huge chunk of brownies; fat free, but still...), and I've definitely gotten better at cooking thanks to watching him! Yes, that's right, I even cook. If I'd have known how easy it was, I'd have done it sooner!

I'm feeling really good about myself professionally these days. I've been working at the Department of Justice, mostly representing the state and state-employees in inmate-filed suits, which is really interesting. A couple have involved medical malpractice/8th amendment violations (cruel and unusual punishment). A couple are stranger than I really thought any case could be. "Strange" to me means "interesting," as opposed to "boring." A couple friends at the DOJ are working on eminent domain cases. Those are "boring."

Other than that, I'm also going to prepare for my very first trial! Well, a small claims trial, which is a little more relaxed than the kind of trials you see on tv, but still, opening statement, preparation of witnesses, cross-examination of witnesses and closing statement, all me. I'm excited and terrified, and VERY grateful that my supervising attorney thinks I'm up for the challenge. I've also been interviewing for summer positions, and have two second-interviews this week. One is with a non-profit organization that works on obtaining social security benefits for disabled (physically and mentally) inmates who are due for release (with the goal of keeping them on treatments and reducing the rate of re-offence) and the other is with a county-level government office that primarily works on child-support, termination of parental rights and foster care/adoption issues. Neither is a paid position, but I'll be applying for a small summer grant aimed at helping law students take public-interest jobs and still pay their rent. I'm really hoping that at least one of the jobs is offered to me, but my back-up plan is to stay on at the Department of Justice and just volunteer.

I think my career goal right now is working someplace like the DOJ. In big law firms the atmosphere is often quite competitive, and you have to worry about who will be promoted, if you'll be passed over because you're young and might have kids, and things like that. At the DOJ everyone is very friendly and collaborative. Attorneys frequently ask one another for their opinion or help with a case. There's also a sense that we're defending the public's interest and helping to shape government policy, if only in an indirect way. You don't make as much money working there as you could in private practice, but hell, I was going to be a musician; I'm obviously not all about the pay! That said, even government work pays pretty well. It seems so arbitrary to me that what I'm preparing to do in the world is worth so much more than what I used to do. It doesn't seem harder, just different. It's sometimes hard for me to understand.

I know this has gotten to be a very long e-mail. There is just so much to tell you about! I know I haven't called in a while, but I think of you and Aunt Sis and all my cousins all the time, and I hope you're all happy and healthy and making it day by day. :)

So, yeah, don't feel bad about missing my birthday. I was really only one day older than I was the day before, after all. :) It means more to me that you love me and have been there for me when things got scary, just like you're there for so many people in our family. You know, you've really been such a blessing for so many people, including for me. Thank you for that. :)

Love you much, and I'll try to keep in touch!
~Kristen

2006-02-28T22:02:00.000-06:00

Good thing we detained all those suspicious dark-skinned people of a non-Christian religion after 9/11. I don't know what we would have done with the court time, the money paid out to those wronged and the lack of good press otherwise!

On that day in September, I remember sitting on a hill, looking up at the pretty blue sky and its complete lack of air traffic, and wondering who we were going to hate because of what had happened. I hoped that it wouldn't lead to a downward spiral of hate and violence, because I feared where that would lead us.

It has led us here. Our country, that received so much sympathy at the losses we suffered that day, has lost its place of respect in the world to an extent that I never would have guessed possible. We have committed so many human rights violations, so many ill-advised plans for our "safety," that a lot of what I used to believe about my country has vanished in a puff.

I remember learning about the Japanese Internment camps and thinking how good it was that we knew better, that this wouldn't ever happen again. I remember thinking about how awful we treated American Indians when forming our country, and being glad that we knew we were wrong and wouldn't do it again. That's why they were teaching us about these things, right? So we wouldn't be doomed to repeat them?

If that's not what we've done, if this isn't the same sort of prejudice, hate, ignorance and disregard for human lives and freedoms, I don't know what is.

I'm reminded of the "pro-life" stance on abortion, and how they're working to end all termination of "human life." Where do they stand on this war that has taken so many already living, breathing, thinking people? Would they let a woman abort a fetus if it were an Arab? If they knew it would be a terrorist? Let's tie in with another hot issue in Wisconsin... Would they care about the abortion if the fetus were gay?

We are a horrifyingly hypocritical nation right now. I feel betrayed.

2006-02-23T23:39:00.000-06:00

Who would Jesus hate?
or
A law student in Mills
or
Where were you when I needed you?

All really good ideas I've had for blogs. I'm sure sometime in the future there will be a way to blog just by formulating ideas while walking to Starbucks and trying not to freeze because you were too stupid to bring a coat in Wisconsin in February. I'm sure that technology will exist, designed for that situation specifically. In fact, it will be invented by me, I just don't know it yet.

The first blog title would go with an article about how I just don't understand how some people call themselves Christians. Examples from today's headlines would be the "christian" stance on abortion and gay marriage. In Germany, when they outlawed abortion, they also made sure that there was financial and medical support available for pregnant women and their children; they aimed to end workplace discrimination against women taking maternity leave; they realized that protecting society's interest in potential life meant more than just calling women getting abortions whores. I don't think Jesus focused many talks on his policy of loving your neighbor except for the ones who have abortions or are gay. I wonder if they would be against aborting a gay fetus? Maybe they'd blame the mother for that, too.

Second blog title would go with my thoughts from attending my first concert in Mills for a long time. It makes me realize how much I've changed from law school and life these past few years.

Third would be thoughts on friendship and hypocrisy, and some more about how much I've changed. I've recently discovered that a few friendships I thought would withstand anything were really only friendships when I was happy and life was easy for me. I think that those kinds of friendships probably resulted from my thinking I wasn't worth being treated better. That said, I have been very fortunate to have MANY loving, giving, wonderful people in my life who HAVE seen me through the hate and ugliness that dominated my existence for a while. I'll be interested to see what patterns emerge from friendships I begin at this point in my life or later, to see if the changes I see in myself are also reflected in my relationships with others.

Now, it's time for sleep.
~Kristen

2006-02-21T12:27:00.000-06:00

Meditation for the day:

May I be filled with loving kindness.
May I be well.
May I be peaceful and at ease.
May I be happy.

- Ancient Tibetan Buddhist Meditation

2006-02-16T14:40:00.000-06:00

I'm taking today as a snow day. One class was canceled, one I slept through, and the last one I'm planning on sleeping through as well. I think I might be getting sick anyway.

In any event, I read about something today that I wanted to pass along:
Pay It Forward

This sounds like a wonderful idea. When I have a job I think I'll start my own.

Kz

2006-02-14T16:32:00.000-06:00

Why Love is Important

It doesn't matter who, it doesn't matter what religion or gender or race, love is good and healthy and life-giving.

http://www.hrc.org/

I liked the slide-show.

~Kristen

2006-02-14T10:42:00.000-06:00

Adventures

This past weekend, my parents took me to Toronto, Canada to watch a preview showing of LOTR the musical. It was pretty awesome! I didn't know where we were going until we got to the gate at the airport. I knew we were going somewhere but had no idea where. We didn't have a ton of time there, but we did enjoy a couple of nice meals, a walk around the entertainment district, and a visit to the CN tower before returning to Wisconsin. It was just the perfect length of a February vacation. I'll post some pictures later this week.

I also got a very pretty purple sparkley necklace. Very, very sparkley.

In other news, Happy Valentine's Day. It's hard to really celebrate on a Tuesday night when I have class until 7:30pm, but Mike and I will have a romantic meal that he'll cook and maybe I can get him to give me a backrub. That would make a great Tuesday night.

This weekend is my 25th birthday (the 18th) and Mike and my one-year-of-dating day (the 19th). This weekend I will also have several interviews with Madison public interest firms. Friday night is the UWMBDA Valentine's Day ball. Busy times!

For now, back to discussing substantive due process, privacy rights and contraception. Whoo hoo!

~Kristen